Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Wedding Report

Volume 9, Issue 01 Friday, January 05, 2007

Hello All,


Happy New Year. We kicked the year off today with a birthday party for Ethan and Josiah (actually, Josiah’s was December 19 but Vanessa is having his main party with his younger brother.) Trains was the theme with tracks running throughout the house, a train cake and games such as “musical train cars” and “pin the caboose on the tracks.”
The guys quickly discovered Josiah’s automatic coal loading train present and spent the afternoon fighting off the kids so we could play with it. At first, we had trouble getting the coal to load properly but one of the wives pointed out that we didn’t have the coal tower properly inserted into the track base. After that, it was full speed ahead.
~~~~~
We’re glad to be “back on the air” so to speak. In an attempt to make production of “Da Bleat” easier, we decided to buy a new Dell. I’d been having some low blood counts and the illness combined with a computer that crashed every half hour or so made it really hard to get the time to get an issue out.
So it seemed like a good idea to upgrade since we had a discount program going with Albemarle and saved $150 on the system. It arrived just before Christmas and I took about a week to move everything over to it. I was pretty excited about the new computer and, thanks to prayers and a new Lot of Procrit, my health was (and is) better. It looked like we’d get caught up on our “Bleat” production.
Then the fun began.
My email program crashed. When I finally had time to talk with Dell, they were stumped too and, after a few days of phone calls, decided to replace my system.
It came in last week and, again, I took about a week to transfer all my data and applications, being very careful to confirm that outlook express was working after each application was loaded.
When all was finished, I started working on this issue and finally opened Word to start loading text (I do the rough edit in WordPerfect where I have better control over hidden codes.) However, Word suddenly said it was initializing and I decided to check Outlook Express. Sure enough, it was unable to send or receive mail (I kept getting the same error message as before, reinstall Outlook.)
I came to the conclusion that my copy of Microsoft Office 2000 was conflicting with something in the architecture of the new Dell Dimension E520 so I uninstalled Office 2000 and installed Office 2007. No dice. Outlook Express still wouldn’t function.
So I decided to install a new email program. That’s where Keith Burton comes in. I stopped by Magnolia Internet (our ISP) to pick up a router (so Annette and I can share the same DSL line at home) and asked Keith for a recommendation. I was thinking about installing Eudora.
Keith recommended Mozillia’s “Thunderbird.”
I installed it and found that it emulates outlook express and the installation was a breeze. So, thanks to Keith, you’re finally getting a new issue of “Da Bleat.”
~~~~~
Governor Mike Beebe is pushing to take the sales tax off groceries. He is facing tremendous opposition from legislators. Why? Because the state has almost a 1 Billion (that’s 1 with a bunch of 0s after it) surplus. And that much money is the source of the biggest fight in Arkansas government in recent memory. Everyone wants a slice of that pie.
Governor Beebe wants to cut taxes instead of spending the surplus on other needs.
The real shame is an informal poll conducted by B.U.G. reveals that most voters don’t care about saving 6% on grocery costs! Abe Lincoln walked three miles to return a penny to a man and we’re unwilling to do anything to get 6 cents back on EVERY dollar we spend on food!
Don’t even consider the fact that people on fixed incomes (as many of us will be some day) are struggling to pay for medicines and food.
~~~~~
An article in the February issue of “Outside” magazine discusses efforts on the Danish island of Samso to become “carbon neutral.” Meaning that they produce less carbon emissions than their foliage consumes. For instance, they use wind and solar power, grow rapeseed which can be fed to cattle as well as using the oil as fuel in tractors and cars.
But the statistic that caught my eye was the comparison of the US and Danish response to the 1973 Arab Oil Embargo. At the time, the U.S. imported 35% of the oil it used; Denmark imported 90% of the oil it used.
Today, the U.S. imports 60% of the oil it consumes, Denmark is now 150% energy self sufficient and, in fact, exports that other 50% of the energy it produces to other nations.
What’s the difference? Our politicians have continued to spend money on finding more sources of oil (such as that in Iraq) while Denmark’s leaders concentrated government funds on finding ways to become energy self sufficient.
They have tremendous solar panel and wind farms which produce energy. In addition, they also fund programs to produce alterative fuel sources for vehicles (such as the rapeseed.)
At the same time, our government reduced funding for solar and wind power along with dismantling much of the public transportation system across the nation. (Today, they’re still pushing to abolish AMTRAK.)
Now, don’t get me wrong, the U.S. is still the greatest nation on earth and I believe that eventually we will get serious about alternative energy and, when we do, we will pass the rest of the world.
But why can’t we do more now?
One way is for states and even cities to push alternative energy. Governor Beebe has proposed a 15 million dollar fund to attract business. How about setting up part of that to encourage new business investment in alternative energy?
Right now the feds penalize companies that generate their own energy. How about state tax incentives for industry to use waste heat to generate electricity?
Today, the feds will give a home owner $150 in tax credit for installing a tankless water heater. How about a state program to match that?
We don’t have to sit here and drown in imported oil costs. We can do things today to make a difference.
~~~~~
Speaking of energy, Albemarle’s employee gas station is about ready to go into use. We expect to be pumping $2.10 gas into our vehicles in a week or so.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include shots of the birthday table and the guys train table.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s New Address
Patrick Antoon
#06669-010
Federal Satellite Low-La Tuna
Anthony, NM/TX 88021
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com or http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q05.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q05.blogspot.com. Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.21
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s Taylor Recipe Book

Since we’re on our annual “Daniel Fast” we’ve chosen a No Meat dish.

Ravioli Casserole - - Taste of Home
Ingredients:
1 Jar (28 oz) Spaghetti Sauce
1 pkg (25 oz) frozen cheese ravioli (cooked & drained)
2 cups (16 oz) small curd cottage cheese
4 cups (16 oz) shredded Mozzarella cheese
¼ cup Parmesan Cheese

Method:
Spread ½ cup of spaghetti sauce in an ungreased dish. Layer with half of the ravioli, 1 ¼ cups of sauce, 1 cup of cottage cheese and 2 cups mozzarella. Repeat layers. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake uncovered at 350º for 30-40 minutes. Let stand 5-10 minutes.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Getting Rid of the Pork
1/5/2007
Can the Democrats Pull It Off?

Will it really happen? Will Congress really get rid of all those perks they have enjoyed so long—like flying on lobbyists’ jets and letting companies pay for luxurious “fact-finding” tours to Bora Bora and elsewhere?

The new Democratic leadership in the House and Senate has promised to curb earmarks and run the cleanest Congress ever. Some people say they will not keep their word. But as for me, I’m going to be giving them the benefit of the doubt—especially if they can get rid of earmarks once and for all.

Lawmakers, you see, love to bloat up spending bills by inserting their own pet projects to benefit favored groups back home. And then they brag about those pet projects, like the infamous “bridge to nowhere,” in order to get re-elected.

Not anymore. Voters, it seems, have caught on—and let lawmakers have it right in the ballot box. Look at the list of how many of the kings and queens of pork lost their seats last November over the earmarking issue.

A senior seven-term California Republican, who bragged about bringing home the bacon, lost to a Democrat.

A member of the House Appropriations Committee who hails from Kentucky was defeated despite bringing home—and bragging about—huge amounts of pork.

A friend of mine, a senator from Montana, boasted of delivering $2 billion to a state with fewer than one million people—starting with $8 million to encourage private space travel. He lost, too. So did an Indiana congressman, who boasted that he increased Hoosier transportation spending by $220 million.

These are all good people, conservatives who should have known better. But maybe we will learn a lesson here. Arizona Rep. Jeff Flake (R), who was re-elected by a handsome margin after refusing to earmark funds for his district, told the New York Times, “In the end, voters saw through it”—that is, efforts to buy their loyalty with pork.

But will conservatives remember the lesson the next time around? Conservatives lost their majority because they betrayed their own central principles—principles that go back to our nation’s founding. To America’s founders, lawmaking was supposed to be about advancing the common good—not wheeling and dealing in order to hold on to power. They built into the Constitution checks and balances “to pit ambition against ambition and make it impossible for any elements of government to obtain unchecked power”—precisely what we see in earmarks.

By contrast, liberals want power in order to advance their agenda; how they get that power is less important.

I have to hand it to the new Congress: Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Harry Reid (D-Nev.) are off on the right foot in their plan to change ethics rules and to require a detailed public accounting of earmarks. I hope they will go further and eliminate them altogether. These represent a gross abuse of power and of their office. Banishing them would be one of the best things that could happen to this country.

I don’t know Reid and Pelosi, but I like what they are saying. The Republicans who ran in 1994 and ran on exactly this platform failed to do it; in fact, they increased pork. I hope that this time the new leaders will get the message. If they do stand tough, if they keep their promises, I’ll be the first to say, “Well done!”

Timothy Egan, “Pork No Longer Paves the Road to Re-election,” New York Times, 25 December 2006.

Fredreka Schouten, “Pelosi Elected First Female Speaker as Democrats Take Control of Congress,” USA Today, 4 January 2007.

Noam N. Levey and Richard Simon, “Speaker-to-Be Is No Stranger to Earmarking,” Los Angeles Times, 13 November 2006.

“Earmarks for Me but Pork for You?” Sandusky Register, 3 January 2007.

“A Bridge Gone Too Far,” Anchorage Daily News, 2 January 2007.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060327, “Ethics? Who Needs Ethics?: Why We Need the Line-Item Veto.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060501, “Empty Monuments to Human Ego: The Scandal of Congressional ‘Earmarking’.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 061005, “Trading Votes for Pork: The Ongoing Scandal of Earmarking.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 061109, “A Pounding at the Polls: Why Conservatives Lost.”

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
nascent: beginning to exist.
exegesis: exposition; explanation.
favonian: pertaining to the west wind; soft; mild; gentle.
punctilio: a fine point of exactness in conduct, ceremony, or procedure.
interregnum: the interval between two reigns; also, any breach of continuity in an order.
ignoramus: an ignorant person; a dunce.
fait accompli: an accomplished and presumably irreversible deed or fact.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Knowledge is of two kinds: we know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it." - Samuel Johnson

"If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week." - Charles Darwin

"In foreign policy you have to wait twenty-five years to see how it comes out." - James Reston

"Man, unlike any other thing organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments." - John Steinbeck

"He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine

"Through our great good fortune, in our youth our hearts were touched with fire. It was given to us to learn at the outset that life is a profound and passionate thing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

".... Should old acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, And days of old long past.... " - Robert Burns
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Lt. General Known as "King David" Appointed to Take Charge in Baghdad
"Quiverfull Movement" Growing in U.S.
A Reminder: America Was Intended to be a Free — Not a Secular — Country
One of World's Leading Financial Contributors to Israel is Woman from Oklahoma

Massachusetts' First African-American Governor Takes Oath of Office on Famed Bible Given to Freed Slaves by President John Quincy Adams
Male Circumcision in Uganda Growing After Studies Show HIV Rates Drop by 50% in Circumcised Men
No Baby Left Behind Website Keeps Count of Babies Saved From Abortion
Rural Good Samaritans Open Up Home to 44 Stranded Travelers during Blizzard

Man Risks His Own Life to Save a Stranger on a NY Subway
A "Little Picture" of the War in Iraq Written by Soldier in Slums of Baghdad
What Can One Do? This 5th Grader's Innovative Fundraiser and Donation Kept the Doors of a Soup Kitchen Open
Stand-up Comedians Who Stand-up for Christ

Christians Beginning to Play Vital Role in Effort to Defeat AIDS Pandemic
Dr. D. James Kennedy Hospitalized for Massive Heart Attack — Showing Signs of Improvement
More than 22,000 College Students Flock to Atlanta Passion '07 Conference — Watch Video-Taped Sessions Online
End Well — a Commentary on the Deaths of a President and a Dictator

Huge Increase of Canadians Attending Urbana '06 Student Missions Conference
New Board Game, Designed by Ex-atheist and Ex-evolutionist, Presents Both Sides—Revealing Evolution's Inconsistencies

Climber Who "Wanted to 'Go Out' On the Mountain", Remembered as Committed Believer
CHILD Project May Help Identify Missing Children
Cat saves Family in Australia

Evidence of "Life" on Mars Comes from Earth—Says this Astronomer and Physicist
Canada's Miracle Channel an Answer to Prayer
Doing Housework Shown to Help Prevent Breast Cancer in Women
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GCF: Wedding Report

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus before it was sent.
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"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife.

"Just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: New Year's Dinner

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
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As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Epitaph Adjustment

mailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
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A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. This was impossible; the words were chiseled and could not be changed.

"In that case," she said, "please add 'Until We Meet Again.'"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Fast Driver

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia.

Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car.

"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Real Estate Agent

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
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A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

"That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?"

"Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \_/ )_____________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Always remember to pillage \ /
\ _/ BEFORE you burn. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \_/ )_____________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Always buy thermometers \ /
\ _/ in the summer, because \_ /
/ / they come with more mercury. \ \
(((\ \_/ )_____________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The moon may be \ /
\ _/ smaller than the Earth, \_ /
/ / but it's further away. \ \
(((\ \_/ )_____________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ Recursive, adj.; see Recursive \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \_/ )_____________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Taxation WITH representation \ /
\ _/ isn't so hot, either! \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Catholic Gasoline

Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been lent out, but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."

Received from Joseph Jones.

(-:][:-)

Paper Walls

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.

Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband," he said, thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

Mouse Man

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you understand why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

Analogies and Metaphors

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

The Cat's New Year's Resolution

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

Received from LARRY SOURBEER.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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Ok, nobody get offended, it is just a joke...

How Many Christians does it take to change a light bulb...

Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad and fried chicken .

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :
What's a light bulb?
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Advertising Terms Explained*

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as anything!

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

(-:][:-)

*Marine Comeback*

During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from home. The drill instructor (DI) was getting irritated at having to keep calling my name. "You must have a lot of people at home who like you, huh?" he barked.

"Sir, no, sir!" I shouted.

"Oh, so you're calling me a liar?" goaded the DI.

Trained as a Marine to think quickly on my feet, I yelled out, "Sir, creditors, sir!"

The DI had to leave the room so we wouldn't see him laughing.

(-:][:-)

*Factory Supplies*

At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise induced tension headaches.

I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin. As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, "I'm glad that's your baby and not mine!"

(-:][:-)

*Kids View of Science*

Q: What is one horsepower?
A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

(-:][:-)

*Noisy Neighbors*

A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and down on the floor at five o'clock in the morning!"

His friend asked, "well, didn't that disturb you? Didn't you complain?

"No-it didn't disturb me. I was practicing my trumpet."

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Retired"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw309


"Rough Landing"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw310


"Parking Strategy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw311


"Kiss Me"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw306


"Peace Talks"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=101

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/01/09/odonnell-v-the-donald/
O’Donnell v. The Donald
January 9th, 2007
Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think?

Rosie O’Donnell vs. The Donald
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever publicity’s needed,
O’Donnell and Donald Trump feed it
By starting a feud
With each other. How rude!
To both I can only say, “Beat it!”

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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http://www.infoplease.com/spot/06yearinreview.html Infoplease: 2006 Year in Review
Top 2006 events for the nation and the world. Related site: MSNBC: Happiest Stories of 2006 / Refdesk: 2006 Year in Review.
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http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/12/top_ten_scams.html ConsumerAffairs.com: Top Ten Scams of 2006
Scams continued to be big business for criminals in 2006 and relatively risk-free as law enforcement appeared unable to keep up. As a result, consumers increasingly were at the mercy of scammers who use cunning, audacity and emerging technology to stay one step ahead of both their victims and the law. The solution? Keep your wits about you, be skeptical and remember, trite though it may be, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16173375/ MSNBC: Wonderful World
One of the most popular new features on MSNBC.com is Wonderful World. In this section you will find uplifting, happy stories and videos from the U.S. and abroad, tales of rescues and heroism; cute stories about kids and animals; and heartwarming acts of generosity that demonstrate the best of the human spirit.
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http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html Astronomy Picture of the Day
Discover the cosmos. Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured by this NASA web site, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
http://www.madehow.com/ How Products Are Made
How Products Are Made explains and details the manufacturing process of a wide variety of products, from daily household items to complicated electronic equipment and heavy machinery. The site provides step by step descriptions of the assembly and the manufacturing process (complemented with illustrations and diagrams) Each product also has related information such as the background, how the item works, who invented the product, raw materials that were used, product applications, by-products that are generated, possible future developments, quality control procedures, etc.
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http://www.howtocleananything.com/ How to Clean Anthing
Welcome to HowToCleanAnything.com. The idea for the site started with a group of cleaning professionals getting together to exchange tips and techniques. The idea developed in what you see today. There are more than 1300 free cleaning tips on this site, and growing every day.
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http://whyfiles.org/ The Why Files: Science Behind the News
The mission of The Why Files, based at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, is to explore the science, math and technology behind the news of the day, and to present those topics in a clear, accessible and accurate manner.
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Safety from the Heart
-----------------------------------------------------
45,000 deaths from traffic accidents
Today's Message is from Jerry Runk (a Houston Albemarle employee).
_________________________________

Every year the United States averages approximately 45,000 deaths from traffic accidents. Nearly all are considered preventable.

This morning on the way to work I saw an accident in Pasadena. I hope it didn't involve fatalities, because it was bad.

With 300 million people living in the US, the odds (everyone with equal exposure) are 1 in 6,667 that you will die in a traffic accident.

With the holiday season many folks are out on the road more thus increasing their exposure. Everyone is hurried at this time of year with lots of things on their mind. Please take your time, concentrate on the task of getting to your destination safely, and making it home to your loved ones.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 12, Number 23 --- 20 Dec 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Patrick's Podcasts / Adobe Software

Howdy, y'all, and greetings from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, a prime-time animated television special featuring Charlie Brown's search for the true meaning of the Christmas holiday.

+---------------------------------------+

------------------
GaETC Podcasts
Audience: Everyone
------------------

Forgive the shameless self-promotion, but a few weeks ago I was a featured speaker at the Georgia Educational Technology Conference [GaETC] in Atlanta. Why am I telling you this? Well, GaETC just posted a podcast of two of my presentations as well as podcasts of presentations by ed tech leaders Tony Brewer, Leslie Fisher, Will Richardson, Susan Silverman, Brent Williams, and Tonya Witherspoon. This means that if you missed any of all of these presentations, you can listen to them for free using your favorite audio program or MP3 player.

There are three ways to find and download any or all of these podcasts:

1. If you have iTunes, you can open GaETC's podcast page directly in iTunes by pointing your favorite web browser to

http://tinyurl.com/ycupjy

2. You can point your favorite web browser to GaETC's podcast page at

http://podcast.ksuettc.org/

and manually download the conference's MP3 files.

3. You can point your favorite RSS reader or podcast client program to GaETC's podcast RSS feed at

http://podcast.ksuettc.org/gaetc-podcasts-2006.xml

If you're new to the whole podcast thing, I suggest you follow option two: manually downloading the conference's MP3 files from the GaETC podcast page. That's the easiest solution.

Oh, and here are the handouts that accompany my two podcasts:

Keeping Up with the Googlebots: What's New at Google
http://tinyurl.com/yayy47 [3.53 MB Flash file]

Patrick Crispen's Complete and Total Waste of Time
http://tinyurl.com/ygejx6 [88 KB Flash file]

Enjoy!

-----------------------
What's New in Acrobat 8
Audience: Everyone
-----------------------

This may be a little confusing, but there are two versions of Adobe Acrobat: Adobe Acrobat Reader and Adobe Acrobat Professional. Adobe Acrobat Reader [now simply called "Adobe Reader"] is a free program that lets you open, but not create, Adobe Acrobat files [PDFs]. A new version of Reader was released a few days ago, and you can download it for free at

http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

So, Reader is free. Adobe Acrobat Professional, the program you use to *create* new Acrobat files from scratch, isn't free. In fact, a new copy of Acrobat Professional will set you back well over US$400. But, as we saw back in 2003, there are cheaper or even free alternatives for creating your own PDFs -- check out http://tinyurl.com/ybpurq and http://tinyurl.com/ya7sqg for some options. Oh, and the new Microsoft Office 2007, scheduled to be released at the end of January, will allow you to create your own PDFs, but you will need to download and install Microsoft's free "Publish as PDF or XPS" add-in.

So, why would anyone buy Acrobat Professional? Well, the program does a lot more than just create PDFs. A few weeks ago, Adobe's Lori DeFurio gave a one-hour, online presentation on what's new in Adobe Acrobat 8 and Adobe Reader 8. In this free presentation, which is available online at

http://adobedev.adobe.acrobat.com/p68476317/

DeFurio talks about some of Acrobat's upcoming ISO standards including PDF/UA [universal access] and the new Adobe Customization Wizard for network installs. DeFurio then goes on to give a wonderful, hands-on demonstration of

* Acrobat's new Macromedia-inspired getting started screen [jump
to 09:22 to see it]
* A really cool Auto-Forms tool [16:29]
* The new Redaction Toolbar [28:16]
* The Combine Files/packaging tool and [33:52]
* A way to create a PDF from a blank page [41:15]
* Collaboration tools including Shared Review [42:56] and Acrobat
Connect [49:51]

If you use Acrobat to create your own PDFs, especially in an educational environment, or if you just want to see what extra features are hidden in Acrobat Professional, you really should take a peek at this free presentation.

+---------------------------------------+

That's it for today. Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.

==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Spc. Dustin R. Donica, 22, of Spring, Texas, died Dec. 28 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds received from small arms fire while conducting combat operations. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 509th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
They died Dec. 27 in Baghdad of wounds received from an improvised explosive device that detonated near them while on dismounted patrol. Both soldiers were assigned to 4th Battalion, 31st Infantry Regiment, 2d Brigade Combat Team, Fort Drum, N.Y. Killed were:

02. Sgt. Christopher P. Messer, 28, of Petersburg, Mich.
03. Spc. Nathaniel A. Given, 21, of Dickinson, Texas.

04. Sgt. Edward W. Shaffer, 23, of Mont Alto, Pa., died Dec. 27 at Fort Sam Houston, Texas, of injuries sustained on Nov. 13 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated nearby. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 36th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Friedberg, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Dec. 29 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations. Killed were:
05. Sgt. Lawrance J. Carter, 25, of Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 18th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.
06. Pfc. William R. Newgard, 20, of Arlington Heights, Ill. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

07. Spc. Luis G. Ayala, 21, of South Gate, Calif., died Dec. 28 in Taji, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit while on combat patrol. Ayala was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

08. Pfc. Alan R. Blohm, 21, of Kenai, Alaska, died Dec. 31 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit while on combat patrol. Blohm was assigned to the 425th Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 4th Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Dec. 31 in Baqubah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated while they were conducting a combat patrol. Both soldiers were assigned to the 215th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
09. Cpl. Jonathan E. Schiller, 20, of Ottumwa, Iowa.
10. Spc. Richard A. Smith, 20, of Grand Prairie, Texas.

11. Sgt. John M. Sullivan, 22, of Hixon, Tenn., died Dec. 30 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle while on combat patrol. Sullivan was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 17th Field Artillery, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

12. Pvt. David E. Dietrich, 21, of Marysville, Pa., died Dec. 29 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire while on combat patrol. Dietrich was assigned to the 1st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Friedberg, Germany

13. Sgt. Thomas E. Vandling Jr., 26, of Pittsburgh, Pa., died Jan. 1 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle while on combat patrol. Vandling was assigned to the 303rd Psychological Operations Company, Oakdale, Pa., a subordinate unit of the U.S. Army Civil Affairs and Psychological Operations Command (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Eccl 3:1-7 Eph 4:31-5:2 Ezek 11:18-19 Phil 2:3-5 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com or http://www.bugsbleat3q06.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q05.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q05.blogspot.com. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2007 before it was sent.
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