Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Zippers - - Photos

  Annette "Gleans" in Jim Ball's Onion Field
  Stephen Burton prepares our Valentine Show

  A "Still Life" of Wind Instruments
  "Bug" with Missionary Pattie Stephenson

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Zippers

Volume 9, Issue 09 Friday, March 02, 2007

Hello All,

I've been frustrated that "Da Bleat" hasn't been put out regularly. I'm still assembling the weekly issues but often I just don't have the time to get them out.
But, we’re going to keep plugging away, trying to get the show to y’all.
~~~~~
My department Chair a BPCC's grandson was born just before Christmas and has been in St. Judes for several weeks - only a 15% chance of survival.
There is a website - ethanpowell.com which has daily updates on his condition. His family would appreciate prayers and support.
Thanks,
Claiborne
~~~~~
There is an increasing hunger in the Middle East to learn about the Prince of Peace. "Who is Jesus? Is He God?" "I want to follow the right religion . . ." "Please help me, I need to know more about the Christ . . ."

These are just a few of the thousands of notes we've received from people living in some of the most closed nations in the world. Dedicated believers in this region are right now working to place Bibles into the hands of men and women who want to know about Jesus.

To learn more, including how you can help reach people throughout the Middle East with God's Word, click here. http://give2.ccci.org/featured/middleeast-email/
~~~~~
This is kinda long, but it's really neat.
Luv yall,
Martha Godwin
http://www.woodsidebible.org:80/splatvideo.htm
~~~~~
If sending emails, please use psmcc2000@hotmail.com
God Bless! - - Pattie Stephenson
~~~~~
We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an American.

RED FRIDAYS ----- Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority". We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops.
Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers.

Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.
~~~~~
Help Arkansas Children’s Hospital Get a Fun Center!

It takes just a few seconds and a click of your computer mouse to boost ACH's chances of winning a national competition that could place mobile entertainment centers in the hands or our patients! Colgate-Palmolive and Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation are asking people to vote online for hospitals that deserve to win several "Fun Centers" complete with flat screen monitors, DVD players and the latest Nintendo system and games.

These will be used at the bedside to help kids have the best time possible while they recover. To vote for ACH, log on to

http://www.colgate.com/app/Colgate/US/Corp/CommunityPrograms/Starlight/HomePage.cvsp

and select the South region. Then vote for Arkansas Children's Hospital, which is the last option on the page. The five hospitals with the highest vote counts will receive "Fun Centers" for their patients. You can vote as many times as you like, so go ahead and boost our chances of making kids happier in the hospital!

Please pass this email on to your friends, family, and co-workers! Thanks for your help in supporting Arkansas Children's Hospital.

Melissa B. Wolfe
Arkansas Children's Hospital
Assistant Director
Volunteer Services
800 Marshall Street, Slot 108
Little Rock, AR 72202-3591
501.364.1825 Tel
501.364.6251 Fax
www.archildrens.org/volunteer < http://www.archildrens.org/volunteer
~~~~~
Congratulations to Michael Paul and Kimi on the birth of their first child!
Tate Michael was born February 21 at 9:58 p.m. and was 6 lb., 10 oz., and 20 inches long.
~~~~~
The 38th Annual GMA Music Awards, also known as the Dove Awards, April 25, 2007 at the Grand Ole Opry House, Nashville, TN.
Ryan Riggins band, "Pocket Full Of Rocks" [http://www.myspace.com/pocketfullofrocks] has been nominated for 2 Doves;
New Artist of the year
Worship Album of the year
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Wind Instruments on the stage at our MCC Valentine Banquet and Stephen Burton preparing for the show.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.45
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
Albemarle Employee’s pump $2.28
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s Taylor Recipe Book
Trio’s Pita Chips - - Amy Underwood
Ingredients:

2 pkg. Wheat pita bread
Butter
Lemon Pepper
Cumin

Method:
Cut pita bread into triangles and halve. Baste with melted butter and sprinkle with lemon pepper and cumin. Bake in a 350º oven until crisp. About 15 minutes. Serve with Trio’s Spinach Dip.
Notes: Erin McConnell version – Substitute Olive Oil spray for butter and substitute Garlic Salt for Lemon Pepper.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
A Tale of Two Servants
3/2/2007

Amazing Grace and Breach

Last week on “BreakPoint,” we talked a lot about William Wilberforce, the English parliamentarian who fought for the abolition of the slave trade in Great Britain. The marvelous new film about his life, Amazing Grace, beautifully portrays a public servant whose Christian beliefs aligned with his outward actions. His life was the epitome of integrity, an example of an integrated worldview.

Just before the debut of Amazing Grace, another film about a public servant appeared in theaters. The film is called Breach, and it tells the story of Robert Hanssen, the man responsible for what some have called the “greatest security breach in American history.” Hanssen was the FBI agent, you may remember, who sold secrets to the Russians for twenty years until his arrest in February 2001.

Breach opens with a scene of Hanssen in church praying the rosary; it closes with him asking for prayer. Like Wilberforce, Hanssen seems to be a man of deep religious convictions. He was a Roman Catholic, a member of Opus Dei, a devoted father and husband, and—to all appearances—a true patriot. A Washington Post review noted: “Hanssen would duck out of work early so he could attend antiabortion rallies.”

But unlike Wilberforce, it appears that Hanssen’s inner convictions had little impact on his outward behavior. Hanssen was a sexual deviant who, without his wife’s knowledge, distributed films of their marital encounters across the Internet. He was a traitor who did not bat an eyelash at betraying three American agents who were killed due to his actions.

Hanssen’s story is a cautionary tale of the dangers of failing to combine orthodoxy (that is, right belief) with orthopraxy (that is, right action). Biographer David A. Vise says about Hanssen, “He was a compartmentalizer. How else could he be married and a father and go to church every day and, at the same time, commit treason?”

So we have in Amazing Grace, on the one hand, and Breach, on the other, a contrast between integrity and compartmentalization. One life shows the fruit of right belief translated into right action, while the other shows how compartmentalized sin does not stay compartmentalized for long; it spreads like gangrene.

God demands our whole hearts. He wants our beliefs and actions in alignment. That’s why Wilberforce was so adamant, warning us against counterfeits of real Christianity.

Wilberforce wrote the following: “If the affections of the soul are not supremely fixed on God, and if our dominant desire and primary goal is not to possess God’s favor and to promote His glory, then we are traitors in revolt against our lawful Sovereign. . . .Whether we are the slaves of avarice, sensuality, amusement, sloth, or the devotees of ambition, taste, or fashion, we alike estrange ourselves from the dominion of our rightful Sovereign.”

Breach is rated PG-13 for some mild obscenity and adult situations. If you do choose to see it, however, see Amazing Grace soon after. The juxtaposition of Hanssen and Wilberforce will startle you. Unlike Hanssen, Wilberforce knew that real Christianity puts beliefs into action—and that any failure to live our Christian convictions is an intolerable breach of trust with our rightful Sovereign.

Please make a donation to Prison Fellowship to help defend religious freedom in the IFI appeal and to BreakPoint to help us continue our biblical worldview ministry. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527.

For Further Reading and Information

See BreakPoint commentaries: “The Spirit of Wilberforce”; “Make You Look”; “The Spirit of Collaboration”; “One Bite at a Time”; and “Go On in the Name of God.”

Catherine Claire, “‘Amazing Grace’ and ‘Breach’: Integrity vs. Compartmentalization,” The Point, 19 February 2007.

Read more about William Wilberforce and Amazing Grace.

Catherine Claire, “Wilberforce, Not at Liberty,” The Point, 19 February 2007.

Cher Smith, “Flick Chick: Breach,” Culture Beat, 21 February 2007.

Desson Thomson, “A Walk in the Dark,” Washington Post, 15 February 2007, C01.

Stephen Hunter, “Traitors of Trust: ‘Breach’ Goes to the Soul of a Spy,” Washington Post, 16 February 2007, C01.

Todd Hertz, review of Breach, Christianity Today, 19 February 2007.

Learn more about the history behind William Wilberforce’s fight against the slave trade.

John Podhoretz, “Hanssen’s Disease,” Weekly Standard, 24 February 2007.

Rebecca Roberts, “Robert Hanssen: A Brief History,” Nation, NPR, 4 February 2007.

Christina Radish, “Ryan Phillippe and Eric O’Neill Talk about the Story behind ‘Breach’,” Media Blvd.

Gina Piccalo, “The Trustworthy Face that Tricked an FBI Pro,” Los Angeles Times, 16 February 2007.

Learn more about the movies Breach and Amazing Grace.

William Wilberforce, A Practical View of Christianity (Hendrickson, 1996).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:

profligate: shamelessly immoral; also, recklessly wasteful.
conflagration: a large and destructive fire.
entreat: to ask for or request earnestly.
hardscrabble: barren, marginal; also, marked by poverty.
enjoin: to direct or impose with authority; also, to forbid.
sycophant: one who seeks favor by flattery; a toady.
ambit: circuit or compass; also, sphere of action or influence.
surreptitious: done, made, or gotten by stealth; also, marked by stealth.
from Dictionary.Com

~~~~~
"Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. General recognition of this fact is shown in the proverbial phrase 'It is the busiest man who has time to spare.' " - C. Northcote Parkinson

"I praise loudly. I blame softly." - Catherine the Great

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov

"To freely bloom - that is my definition of success." - Gerry Spence

"It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old down all the unchanging days, and die one day like any other day, only shorter." - Samuel Beckett

"Anxiety is the space between the 'now' and the 'then.' " - Richard Abell

"Maturity is coming to terms with that other part of yourself." - Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

# California Bill Drops the Word "Spanking" But Would Still Criminalize Parents Who Use Corporal Punishment
# President Bush's Proposed 2008 Budget Increases Funds for Abstinence Programs
# Innovative Tennessee Church Ministers to the Deaf with a Different Beat

# Rev. Schenck and Archaeologists Comment on Latest "Hoax" of Jesus' Grave
# Fr. Frank Pavone Comments on Mississippi House's Recent Passage of Pro Life Legislation
# With Players from Dominican Republic, and Former Major Leaguers as Managers, Israeli Baseball League is Working Hard to be Taken Seriously
# Radical "Spiritual Activist," Actor Stephen Baldwin Makes New Movie, Launches New Ministry

# Teen Abolitionist Leader of a Growing Effort to End Modern-Day Slavery
# Virginia's General Assembly Unanimously Passes Resolution of Apology for State's Role in Slavery
# New Prayer Initiative for the Middle East Launched by Southern Baptist Pastor
# Country Artist Honors Canadian Forces with Music Video

# UK Baby—Back from the Dead after 30 Minutes—Now a Thriving 14-Month-Old
# Japanese Christians Believe They are on the Verge of Predicted Spiritual Revival
# Women Credit God With Saving Them From Tornado Destruction
# "World Without America"—UK Station Runs Campaign Ad Touting US-Britain Bond

# Prominent Same-Gender Activist Walks Away From Former Lifestyle to Embrace Christ
# Prayer Alert: Navy Chaplain Ordered to Leave Service by Midnight, for Praying in Jesus' Name
# Officer and Wife Receive Honors for Keeping Promise to Iraqi Boy Who Was Informant for American Troops
# Christians and Jews Come Together to Increase Solidarity

# Prayer Alert: Tornado and Baseball Team Bus Tragedies Claim Young Lives
# Doctors Test Cancer-Killing Machine Made by Man With No Medical Training
# Prophetic Painter in Deep Ellum, Texas, Helps to Communicate God's Heart to the Community
# Haitian Girl With Deadly Tumor Has Make-A-Wish Come True: Meet With President Bush

Breaking Christian News
310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426

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GCF: Zippers

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Austin) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus before it was sent.
----------------------------------------------

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. "The secret," she said, "is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."

The boy looked at her quizzically... "Why does it have to be a secret?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Maine Winters

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Michael) -Tom
----------------------------------------------

Some engineers from the U.S.G.S. surveyed some property and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but in New Hampshire.

After a long pause, he grunted and said, "That's good. I couldn't take another one of these Maine winters."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Kangaroos

Found posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor) -Tom
----------------------------------------------

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Handy Around The House

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Nancy) -Tom
----------------------------------------------

Eleven Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.

2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.

3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing are both helpful in home repair ... but only if you are working alone.

4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.

5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year- old.

6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the "on" switch; or just paint over it.

7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.

8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, throwing, and sharing sometimes DOES help.

9. If something look level, it is level.

10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

11. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: The Game Warden

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, John) -Tom
----------------------------------------------

The Game Warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. "This is last year's license," the warden informed him.

"I know," said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new license, I am only shooting at the deer I missed last year."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ Entomology: I fear no weevil. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Don't worry about \ /
\ _/ what people think. \_ /
/ / They don't do it very often. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / I've discovered the whole \ \_/ ////
\ / problem with the National Debt. \ /
\ _/ Most of us work 5 days a week, \_ /
/ / but the government spends 7. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / When weeding, the best way \ \_/ ////
\ / to make sure you are removing \ /
\ _/ a weed and not a valuable plant \_ /
/ / is to pull on it. If it comes out \ \
of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / What hair color do they put on \ /
\ _/the driver's licenses of bald men? \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|___________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Words that Really Should Exist from A to Z

Donation Drive (5 days left) Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

Abracadabbler: an amateur magician.

Badaptation: a bad movie version of a good book.

Carbage: the trash found in your automobile.

Dadicated: being the best father you can be.

Ecrastinate: checking your e-mail just one more time.

Faddict: someone who has to try every new trend that comes along.

Gabberflasted: the state of being speechless due to someone else talking too much.

Hackchoo: when you sneeze and cough at the same time.

Iceburg: an uppity, snobbish neighborhood.

Jobsolete: a position within a company that no longer exists.

Knewlyweds: second marriage for both.

Lamplify: turning on (or up) the lights within a room.

Mandals: sandals for men.

Nagivator: someone who constantly assists with driving directions in an overly critical manner.

Obliment: an obligatory compliment.

Pestariffic: adjective describing a particularly pesty person.

Qcumbersome: a salad that contains too many cucumbers.

Ramdumbtious: a rowdy, energetic person who's not too bright.

Sanktuary: a graveyard for ships.

Testimoney: fees paid to expert witnesses.

Unbrella: an umbrella that the wind has turned inside-out.

Vehiculized: you own a vehicle.

Wackajacky: very messed up.

Xerocks: two identical pieces of stone.

Yawnese: the language of someone trying to speak while yawning.

Zingle: a single person with a lot of pep in his or her step.

Received from Cathy Gilstrap.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Story Of Elijah

Donation Drive (4 days left)
Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels with water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this three times.

"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said. "To make the gravy!"

Received from Mary Rayner.
(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Baby Care

Donation Drive (3 days left) Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

/* Somehow yesterday's joke didn't go out (at least I didn't get mine). Sorry about that. I think the problem is fixed now.

Thanks to everyone that sent in a donation. Once again your generosity will keep us running for six more months.

Hope you have a great day! */

My husband is always complaining about my inability to stay on a budget and about the costs of running the household in general. This has become worse since we had twins. Everything is double -- clothes, food, pediatrician bills. Lately, he has even been complaining about the amount of baby powder I have been using on the twins to prevent them from getting diaper rashes. I've had to remind him that ... talc is cheap.

By Stan Kegel

Received from Stan Kegel.
(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Biggest Lie

Donation Drive (2 days left) Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher asked, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answered, "We found a ten-dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher.
"When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Received from Pastor Tim.
(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Be Thankful

Donation Drive (Today is the last day) Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

/* Today we're departing from our usual "funnies" to bring a reminder to us all that every day ought to be Thanksgiving. */

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

Received from Del.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Love this DOCTOR!!!!

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !
________________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Love is grand! Divorce is a hundred grand.
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I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
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Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
***************** **********
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
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Even if you are on the right track, You'll get run over if you just sit there
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
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An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
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There will always be death and taxes; However, death doesn't get worse every year.
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In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
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I am a nutritional overachiever.
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I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
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Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
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A day without sunshine is like night.
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It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
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Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.
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Golfer's Deal With the Devil

A golfer was having a tough day and in his frustration he blurted out, "I would give anything for a birdie on this hole."

A nearby stranger walked out of the woods beside the hole and whispered, "If you give up one quarter of your sex life, I guarantee you will make this shot.” The golfer said "OK." He made the shot for birdie.

A few holes later, he was having trouble on another hole. "Please, let me make this for eagle" he said.

Again, the stranger stepped up to him and said, "If you give up another quarter of your sex life, you will make eagle."

"You're on," the golfer said, and made the shot for eagle.

On the eighteenth hole, the golfer needed an eagle to win. The stranger again stepped up and said "If you give up the last half of your sex life, you will make eagle to win."

"OK," the golfer said, and made his shot for eagle, winning the round.

As he was walking back to the clubhouse, the stranger walked up beside him and said, "I think I should inform you that I am the Devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

The golfer turned to him, smiled, and said, "Nice to meet you, my name is Father O'Malley!"

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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S E N I L I T Y !

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'

'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(THIS IS THE BEST ONE)

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

You're not a kid anymore when ...

* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

* You are proud of your lawnmower.

* 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

* People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

* Your high school diploma is the color of buttermilk.

* Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

* You've seen Halley's Comet ... twice.

* You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.


(-:][:-)


*Looking For Mike*

After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him - and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" Glenda asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Glenda said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, Glenda dialed again.

This time a man answered... "This is Mike," he said.

"Hey, you're not my boyfriend!" Glenda exclaimed.

"I know, I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."


(-:][:-)


*Getting Younger*

Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

"Sam, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any younger", says the doctor.

"Who asked you to make me younger, already?" says Sam. "You just make sure I get older!"


(-:][:-)


*Prayer Positions*

Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one minister.

"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."


(-:][:-)


*Kitchen Cry*

Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen crying out loud.

"What's the matter, darling?" he asked her.

"I just don't know what to do," said Miriam. "Because we were eating in for a change, I cooked us a special dinner - but the dog has just eaten it."

"Don't worry," said Howard, "I'll get us another dog."


(-:][:-)


Eye Laugh

"Cat TV"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw342

"Salvation Snooze Alarm"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=141

"Prewash"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=141

"Vacation Needed"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw337

"Tower Bunk"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw335

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/compatible.html - - Is It Safe To Go Shopping With Your Mate? (Humorous Quiz)
December 19th, 2006
If you’ve ever visited the delightful Bobbarama, you know that its witty proprietor posts the occasional Take Two. So, what exactly is a Take Two? It’s a battle of the sexes type humor collaboration, in which Bob and a funny female both write about a given topic.

Why am I telling you this? Because today I’m the female half of Bob’s collaboration, and the topic is shopping. I hope you’ll enjoy my take on shopping with your mate, which is in the form of a multiple choice quiz. (You’ll find a link to Bob’s take at the end of this post.)

Is It Safe To Go Shopping With Your Mate? (Humorous Quiz)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

One sure way to test a relationship is to shop with your mate. Not only is joint shopping stressful, but it amplifies differences in temperament and taste. It can even lead to bickering, brawls, and mayhem. So take this compatibility quiz now. Or risk being ousted from your favorite boutique.

1. When you arrive at the mall he:

a. Says "Let's shop together. It'll be fun."
b. Says "Meet me in hardware."
c. Vanishes.

2. In men's clothing he:

a. Asks your opinion and compliments your taste.
b. Buys a tie he already owns.
c. Bemoans the demise of the leisure suit.

3. In lingerie he:

a. Says you look sexy in an oversized robe.
b. Asks you to model see-through garments too small to identify.
c. Hands you a Wonderbra.

4. While checking out men's underwear he:

a. Agrees to try argyle socks.
b. Balks at replacing torn shirts because "They're broken in just right."
c. Doesn't know his size. ("Mommy always buys my shorts.")

5. When you try on a dress he:

a. Tells you everything looks great.
b. Checks the price before giving an opinion.
c. Snores.

6. At the jewelry counter he:

a. Admires a pair of his-and-her gold rings.
b. Claims to prefer flashy trinkets.
c. Promises to buy you something nicer "off the truck."

7. In electronics he:

a. Helps you choose a home computer.
b. Asks for easy-to-use software for the "little lady."
c. Watches the game.

8. At the video store he:

a. Finds a classic film you'll both enjoy.
b. Hides out in the "adults only" department.
c. Suggests you buy a work-out tape.

9. In the book shop he:

a. Walks you to fiction where you discuss favorite authors.
b. Tells you he could write a Best Seller, if he only had the time.
c. Sprints to the swimsuit calendars.

10. In the record store he:

a. Finds you a long sought cd on the discount rack.
b. Heads for hard rock.
c. Asks for the 45's.

11. At the toy mart he:

a. Helps select a game for your nephew.
b. Plays "People" non-stop on the electric piano.
c. Elbows children aside to play video games.

12. At "Pets R Us" he:

a. Oohs and aahs at kittens and pups.
b. Sneezes violently.
c. Mentions a childhood mishap involved parakeets and snakes.

13. In the pharmacy he:

a. Whips out a shopping list.
b. Pretends not to know you, while you ask for tampons:
c. Makes you buy the condoms.

14. At the supermarket he:

a. Says "You do aisles 1 to 8 and I'll handle 9 to 16."
b. Spends hours selecting beer and chips.
c. Appears stunned by the invention of scanners."

15. If the supermarket line is long he:

a. Offers to save your place while you look around.
b. Pressures you to leave.
c. Wanders off to munch on "free samples."

16. If something you bought is defective he:

a. Offers to return it.
b. Tries to convince you it "isn't all that bad."
c. Hides to avoid "a scene."

When you've finished this quiz, total your abc's. If you have ten or more a's, you two may safely attempt a trip to the mall. Fewer than ten a's? Seriously consider leaving him home.

And if you have more than ten c's, check his parents' refund policy. Perhaps his folks will take him back.

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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http://www.historyofsupremecourt.org/ - - The History of the Supreme Court
Created by a collaboration of classroom teachers, historians, and legal scholars, the site presents the history of America's highest court within a series of broad themes drawn from the social studies curriculum. Examples include 'The Court and Gender', 'The Court and Young People', and 'The Court Today', which tracks the present changing Court in real time and focuses on the issues now under consideration.
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http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/physical/growing_stronger/ - - Strength Training for Older Adults
Welcome to Growing Stronger: Strength Training for Older Adults. If you're interested in feeling stronger, healthier, and more vital, this program is for you. This strength-training program was developed by experts at Tufts University and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Related site: Mayo Clinic Stretching and Strength-training.
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http://www.ajb.dni.us/ - - America's Job Bank
America's Job Bank is the biggest and busiest job market in cyberspace. Job seekers can post their resume where thousands of employers search every day, search for job openings automatically, and find their dream job fast. Businesses can post job listings in the nation's largest online labor exchange, create customized job orders, and search resumes automatically to find the right people, right now.
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http://www.bls.gov/oco/ - - Occupational Outlook Handbook
This site is from the U.S. Department of Labor. The Occupational Outlook Handbook is a nationally recognized source of career information, designed to provide valuable assistance to individuals making decisions about their future work lives. For hundreds of different types of jobs - such as teacher, lawyer, and nurse - the Occupational Outlook Handbook tells you: the training and education needed; earnings; expected job prospects; what workers do on the job; working conditions. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
http://www.census.gov/main/www/popclock.html - - U.S. and World Population Clocks
This site from the U.S. Census Bureau, Population Division, presents the most recent national and world population estimates.
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http://www.bartleby.com/141/ - - The Elements of Style
Asserting that one must first know the rules to break them, this classic reference book is a must-have for any student and conscientious writer. Intended for use in which the practice of composition is combined with the study of literature, it gives in brief space the principal requirements of plain English style and concentrates attention on the rules of usage and principles of composition most commonly violated.
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http://concise.britannica.com/ - - Britannica Concise
Britannica Concise is a complete, 28,000 article, single-volume encyclopedia from the editors of Encyclopædia Britannica.
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| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
February 26, 2007
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Pam Kemp.

Not anything to be proud of, but I had not 1, not 2, but 3 injuries over the weekend....

#1. I was walking from the utility room of my house into the kitchen, cut the corner too quickly and gave my right elbow a strong blow that resulted in a lump. It was very painful at the moment that it happened (and still hurts this morning). Whoever named it your funny bone must have been delusional....it wasn't funny at all.

#2. I was going into church yesterday w/my Bible in one hand and a picture for the Sunday School class to hang on the wall, leaned the picture against the door, and opened the door.. I picked up the picture and proceeded to get through the door and caught my hip on the bar that goes across the door inside to help open it... that one smarted. Almost said a bad word right there but contained my need to scream it out.

#3. It was raining yesterday after my trip to the store, so it was dart in and right back out.... When I left home it wasn't raining very hard, but while I was in the store the bottom dropped out. I had my car parked close so I wasn't concerned w/being drenched before reaching it. In an attempt NOT to hit the car next to me if I opened my car door far enough for me to jump in so I, being the polite person, opened the door only as far as needed to get in..lo and behold I go to get in the car and ram my forehead into the edge of the door...that resulted in a huge goose egg and bruising followed. I think I saw stars or sparklers when that happened. I, fortunately having a friend who is a nurse, dropped by her house for her to take a look at my goose egg...she told me that if I blurred vision or felt nausea or dizziness set in I should probably go and have it checked...I did not experience any of those symptoms during the hours after I hit my head...the main symptom I had all day was remorse for not taking more time to take care of myself...and a little stupidity when I sat and thought about all my booboo's I had gotten in 2 days.

Moral of this story: It all boils down to one thing...being in a hurry...that's all I can count this weekend up to... don't forget to take your time, think about what you are doing and never forget what hazards may lay in wait for you. These were self created hazards I'm afraid that I laid for myself and also paid for myself w/bumps and bruises that came w/me to work this morning as reminders of my battle worn weekend.

(Bet a lot of you are already laughing and wondering if I'm related to Barney Phife-that poor guy couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time).
In my case I can't open a door and get into my car at the same time.

No, I'm not as clumsy as this makes me sound .... This past weekend was a rare and unusual happening in my life...a bump and bruise every now and then but 3 in one weekend may be my new record.

When it rains, it pours can also represent the domino affect of accidents...great and small if you let them continue to invade your life....be careful, watch what you're doing and take your time...rain or shine, accidents are lurking around the corner waiting on unsuspecting souls like all of us.

If I gave you a little chuckle when you read this, it's on me this time.

_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
February 23, 2007

E.D.I.T.H.
Exit Drills In The Home

A majority of fatal home fires occur between the hours of midnight and 6 am when most people are asleep. When your smoke detector sounds, you may have less than 2 minutes to escape from your home. Your secondary escape route may be your only way out. An operating smoke detector will give you an early warning and those few minutes needed to escape.

Make a home escape plan - and practice it!


You can survive a fire in your home if you know what to do when you hear the smoke alarm.


Plan your escape

Draw a floor plan of your home. Show two ways out of each room.
Agree on an outside meeting place in front of your home where everyone will gather after they've escaped.
Practice! Hold home fire drills. Make them realistic by pretending some exits are blocked by smoke or fire.
Provide alternatives for anyone with a disability.

A fire drill is not a
race. Leave quickly,
but don't run.


Be prepared

Can everyone in your home unlock and open windows?
If your windows have security bars, are they equipped with inside quick-release devices?
Can children reach and open all door and window locks?

If you live in an apartment building . . .

Learn and practice your building's evacuation plan.
If you hear a fire alarm, leave immediately.
Use the stairs - never use elevators during a fire.
Know the location of all building exits and fire alarms.
If exits are locked or blocked, report the problem to your building's management

Escape tips

Close doors behind you as you escape to slow the spread of fire and smoke.
If you have to escape through smoke, crawl, keeping your head one to two feet (30 to 60 centimeters) above the floor, where the air will be cleanest.
Test doorknobs and spaces around the door with the back of your hand. If the door is warm, try another escape route. If it's cool, open it slowly. Slam it shut if smoke pours through.

Get out and stay out:
Once you escape a fire,
don't go back inside
for any reason.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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OSHA Requirements When a Worker
Experiences a Job-Related Injury or Illness
Over the past three decades, occupational injuries and illnesses in the U.S. have declined by 42 percent, even though employment has more than doubled. Nevertheless, every year, nearly five million workers experience an occupational injury or illness on the job. More than half of these injuries and illnesses are severe enough to cause the worker to spend time away from work.
OSHA, along with safety and health professionals around the Nation, is working with employers and employees to move toward zero injuries and illnesses in U.S. workplaces. And the agency will not be satisfied until every worker in America goes home safe and sound each day.

Reporting Catastrophes
When a worker is killed on the job and/or three or more workers are hospitalized, the employer covered by OSHA must report to the agency within eight hours. Fatal heart attacks also must be reported. Employers can call the nearest OSHA area office or the agency’s toll-free number 800- 321-OSHA (6742) to provide this information.
Providing First Aid
Employers who can not reach a hospital, infirmary or clinic within a reasonable amount of time must be prepared to provide first aid to workers who experience injuries or illnesses on the job. OSHA requires that adequate first aid supplies must be readily available and that someone must be adequately trained to render first aid.
The agency also encourages employers to consider acquiring automated external defibrillators (AEDs)—medical devices designed to revive victims of sudden cardiac arrest. These devices analyze a victim’s heart rhythm and deliver an electric shock to restore heart rhythm to normal. Battery-operated AEDs are compact, lightweight, portable, safe and easy to use. Having them onsite can save precious time and improve survival odds because they can be used before emergency medical service personnel arrive.

Recording Injuries and Illnesses
Most employers in high hazard industries are required to keep records of injuries and illnesses experienced by their employees. An annual summary of these injuries and illnesses must be posted in the workplace from February 1 to April 30. Details on recordkeeping requirements and forms are available from OSHA’s website at www.osha.gov. The website also offers training to help employers complete the forms. Those with 10 or fewer employees are exempt from injury and illness recordkeeping requirements except when selected by OSHA or the Bureau of Labor Statistics to participate in a mandatory data collection.
Investigating Accidents One of the hallmarks of an effective safety and health management system is a commitment to investigate every incident that results in a worker injury or illness—and near-misses as well. By immediately following up, employers can identify root causes and take corrective steps to prevent future problems.
Getting Help with Safety and Health Management Systems
When it comes to injuries and illnesses, the best defense is a good offense—a pro-active safety and health management system that focuses on finding and fixing hazards before they can lead to problems. OSHA offers various services—such as consultation and compliance assistance programs— to help employers establish safety and health management systems.
OSHA’s Consultation Program, for example, is a free service to help smaller employers identify and fix hazards in their workplaces. OSHA also has compliance assistance specialists available in each area office to help employers and employees comply with OSHA requirements. OSHA cooperative and partnership programs often offer assistance with establishing safety and health manage-ment systems. Other sources of help include trade associations, insurance companies and private consultants.
OSHA’s Safety and Health Management eTool— interactive software on OSHA’s website—helps users build their own safety system based on a series of questions and the specific responses a user provides. Employers and employees also may consult OSHA’s Handbook for Small Businesses and “Safety and Health Program Management Guidelines,” Federal Register 54:3904-3916, January 26, 1989. All these resources are available at www.osha.gov.
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Thought this might be of interest.

Well, Who Knew...?
I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason). I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open. Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I'm impressed!

WD-40 who knew?
Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you. When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stovetop... Voila! It's now shinier than it's ever been.
You'll be amazed.
Here are some of the uses:
1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loose ns stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewelry chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20) Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35) Removes all traces of duct tape.
36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37) Florida's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."
38) The favorite use in the state of New York WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40) Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42) Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
43) If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 12, Number 28 --- 27 Feb 2007
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com

+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Know Jack? / Office 2007

Howdy, y'all, and greetings from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, located on Old Nelson Road within the Sembawang Planning Area in the North Region of Singapore.

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--------------------------------------
You Don't Know Jack!
Audience: Adults with a sense of humor
--------------------------------------

You Don't Know Jack (the CDROM game) was an irreverent and hysterical trivia game introduced in 1995 by the folks at Berkeley Systems. A web-enabled version of the game was launched in March 1997 but was quickly abandoned. Well, Jack is back ... sort of. In mid-December, the folks at Jellyvision started posting free, daily, You Don't Know Jack "DisOrDat" quizzes at

http://www.youdontknowjack.com/

Think of this as an hysterical, daily, pop culture quiz. The game displays seven words or phrases you have to categorize. For example, the game might ask you if "Millie" is the "wife of a US president" or a "dog of a US president." That's a mild example. An example of a more risque DisOrDat quiz is one that asks if the "Denver Nuggets" are "a basketball team" or "a testicular cuisine."

Obviously, You Don't Know Jack isn't a site I would recommend to kids. In fact, let me throw in Jellyvision's boilerplate warning:

Warning: This game contains mature content, including suggestive sexual references, language and font treatments that may not be suitable for children. Besides, they won't get it anyway.

Between you, me, and the fencepost, that's a tad bit strong. You Don't Know Jack isn't any more risque than what you might hear in the monologue of your favorite late night talk show. That said, if you're offended by Leno, Letterman, or Stewart, stay away.

But, if you are an adult who has a good sense of humor and are looking for a *BUNCH* of laughs, the return of You Don't Know Jack is just what you've been looking for. Oh, and don't forget to check out the games' archive and FAQs -- both are well worth your time. [The January 2nd DisOrDat is still my favorite.]

+---------------------------------------+

--------------------------------------------------
Free, Online Microsoft Office 2007 Training Movies
Audience: PC users running XP or Vista
--------------------------------------------------

A few weeks ago our friends at Microsoft released a brand new version of Office: Office 2007. I've been using the new Office for the past six months, and I absolutely love it. But you need to be aware that the new Office is QUITE different than what you've used in the past.

Fortunately, Microsoft recently posted a bunch of free, online movies that show you what's new and what's different in Access 2007, Excel 2007, PowerPoint 2007 and Word 2007. That's the good news. The bad news is that you have to dig a bit to find these online movies.

The easiest way to access the online training movies is to open any Office 2007 application, press the F1 key, and then click on the Demos link at the bottom of the Help screen. If that doesn't work for you, or if you just want to check out the movies without having to install Office 2007 -- go to Microsoft's Office Online Help site at:

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/help/

and, on the left side of the page, click on the Demos link. Finally, in the middle of the page, click on the "2007 Office System" tab. That's it. The rest is self-explanatory.

--------------------------------------
Google: Now with 33% fewer consonants!
Audience: Everyone
--------------------------------------

Finally, I know I am not the first person to point this out, but take a look at http://tinyurl.com/yp5yeq and see if you can figure out what's missing from that picture. That's the Google "doodle" for Valentine's day 2007. Also check out http://tinyurl.com/2dqdpp for the full story.

Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.

+---------------------------------------+

==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Activities and Events of Interest

Albemarle Employees and Contractors - Steak & Bingo Dinner

Saturday, April 14, the Albemarle Activities Committee will host a steak and bingo dinner at the Magnolia Junior High School Cafeteria from 6:00–9:00 p.m. The dinner is open to all Albemarle employees, retirees, and full-time contract personnel.

The dinner will consist of a ribeye steak, baked potato, salad, roll, dessert and drink. Each attendee will be provided with bingo cards for use in winning one of the many prizes. As this activity is designed as a social gathering to promote employee fellowship and fun, “To Go” plates will not be available.

Dinner tickets will be $5 each for Albemarle employee, and the bingo will be free. Each employee/retiree may purchase two tickets (himself, & his spouse or guest).

Tickets must be purchased ahead of time from your supervisor. Retirees may purchase tickets by contacting Mitzie Walker (ext. 6296). The deadline for purchasing tickets is Wednesday, April 4. Tickets will not be sold at the door.

Employees working on this night may purchase a dinner, which will be delivered to the plant. Those employees should ensure that delivery of their meal is noted on the sign up sheet. These working employees will have their names placed in a drawing for a door prize.

Anyone wishing to assist with cooking the steaks, or setting up, please contact one of the committee members below.

Genia Harrell
Daphne Roberts
Julia Green
Mike Shemas
Cecil McConnell
Ron Huett
Buddy Kyle
Debbie Wright
~~~
19th Annual Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off
May 18 - May 19, 2007
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 23 of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations in Ramadi, Iraq, on Feb. 22.
All three soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 9th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
01. Staff Sgt. Joshua R. Hager, 29, of Broomfield, Colo.
02. Pfc. Travis W. Buford, 23, of Galveston, Texas, and
03. Pfc. Rowan D. Walter, 25, of Winnetka, Calif.

04. Sgt. Jeremy D. Barnett, 27, of Mineral City, Ohio, died Feb. 24 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Landstuhl, Germany, of wounds sustained from a landmine detonation in Ad-Dujayl, Iraq, on Feb. 21. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

05. Spc. Ethan J. Biggers, 22, of Beavercreek, Ohio, died Feb. 24 in Indianapolis, Ind., of wounds suffered while on combat patrol in Baghdad, Iraq, on March 5, 2006. Biggers was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

06. Lance Cpl. Anthony Aguirre, 20, of Channelview, Texas, died Feb. 26 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Aguirre was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

07. Staff Sgt. William J. Beardsley, 25, of Coon Rapids, Minn., died Feb. 26 in Diwaniyah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Beardsley was assigned to the 260th Quartermaster Battalion, 3rd Sustainment Troop Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

08. Pfc. Daniel Zizumbo, 27, of Chicago, Ill., died Feb. 27 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device. Zizumbo was assigned to 1st Transportation Movement Control Agency, 21st Theater Support Command, Kaiserslautern, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
09. Sgt. Chad M. Allen, 25, of Maple Lake, Minn., died Feb. 28 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Allen was assigned to 2nd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
10. Pfc. Bufford K. Van Slyke, 22, of Bay City, Mich., died Feb. 28 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Van Slyke was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 1st Battalion, 24th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Saginaw, Mich.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 27 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. They were assigned to the 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.
11. Sgt. Richard A. Soukenka, 30, of Oceanside, Calif.
12. Cpl. Lorne E. Henry, Jr., 21, of Niagara Falls, N.Y.
13. Spc. Jonathan D. Cadavero, 24, of Takoma Park, Md.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 12:21-24 2 Cor 8:1-3 Psa 25:4-7 Hab 3:17-19 (1 Cor 7:27-31 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com or http://www.bugsbleat3q06.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q05.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q05.blogspot.com. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2007 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Friendly Skies - - Photos

  "Bug" at ESTI in College Station, Texas
  A Mystery Photo
  A Magnolia Sunset
  "Bug" cooking at Dream Center

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Friendly Skies

Volume 9, Issue 08 Friday, February 23, 2007

Hello All,

Jimmy and Vanessa are newly appointed as Home Missionaries to St Francis Parish, LA by the Assembly of God. They’ve moved to Mandaville, LA and are starting a church in Madisonville, LA.
~~~~~
I just learned of this. wow! This is much more accurate than google maps or mapquest or yahoo maps. Of course, it should be. It's got the latest state data.

http://www.geostor.arkansas.gov
~~~~~
Dear Friend,

This email just arrived from a grateful military mom:

"I want to thank you for what you are doing. You see, I have two sons currently serving in Iraq and a daughter who can be called at any time, and I am thankful for Father God's hand of protection on them as well as the other soldiers . . . God bless and keep up the good work."

What a difference your prayers and gifts of Rapid Deployment Kits - filled with New Testaments, daily devotionals, and evangelistic tracts - are making in the lives of our troops and their families!

With thousands more young men and women preparing for deployment, your help is needed to spiritually equip them for the challenges ahead. To learn more about how you can help place RDKs into the hands of our troops, visit: http://give2.ccci.org/featured/rdk-email

Thank you so much for your prayers and support.

Blessings in Christ,

Megan Hawkes
Director, Donor Relations
Campus Crusade for Christ, International
~~~~~
Pocket Full of Rocks has been nominated for 2 Doves - - New Artist of the year and Worship Album of the year
~~~~~
Hidden Salt

A coworker’s mother was recently diagnosed with a heart problem that has required her to be on a no-salt, low-sodium diet. She never realized until this happened to her that sodium (a lot of it) is in almost everything we eat - especially convenience foods.

Hidden salt — 470 mg in a Starbucks bran muffin — is the next big health issue and here's the long list of reasons why. By Sally Kuzemchak, RD, Prevention magazine

Your salad dressing has a dirty little secret. (Your bran muffin and ham sandwich are in on it, too.) These foods—and, indeed, nearly everything you might eat in a day—are loaded with a mineral that some experts fear may be slowly killing you. It's sodium, and even if you don't have high blood pressure, you need to start thinking about it.

We know what you're thinking: Yawn. Well, wake up. Our national "salt tooth" is so bad that the American Medical Association recently asked the FDA to remove sodium from its list of food additives generally recognized as safe.

That's right. Saccharin can stay, but sodium's got to go. Call it the physicians' preemptive strike. "There's no way to tell which chronic health problems will result after years and years of a high-salt diet," explains Stephen Havas, MD, vice president of science, quality, and public health for the AMA. "We'd rather people not be put at risk at all."

Problem is, the stuff is everywhere. It's crammed into cheese slices and canned vegetables and sprinkled into cinnamon-raisin bagels and sandwich bread. You can consume a day's worth of the mineral with an order of mu shu pork with rice from your local Chinese restaurant, according to an analysis by the consumer group Center for Science in the Public Interest, in Washington, DC. As much as 80% of the sodium we get every day comes from these processed and prepared foods—not the salt shaker.

It's true that the occasional sodium-filled microwave dinner or slice of double-cheese pizza is nothing to call the EMTs about, especially if you're generally healthy. But as the number of made-from-scratch, at-home meals we consume has dwindled, we've all unwittingly become sodium junkies.

The most recent Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend that healthy adults get no more than 2,300 mg of sodium a day, the amount in about a teaspoon of salt. (If you are over age 50, are African American, or already have high blood pressure, your limit should be 1,500 mg.) Still, most of us scarf down close to 4,000 mg by day's end, according to the latest government surveys. But my blood pressure is normal, you're thinking. Great. However, a high sodium intake affects far more than that. Take your bones. In a 2-year study of postmenopausal women, researchers found that the higher a woman's sodium intake, the greater her bone loss at the hip.

At the Store

Choose fresh first: Buy foods in their most natural forms whenever you can; it's the processing that ups the sodium. For instance, pick raw almonds instead of flavored ones, or freshly grilled chicken or turkey instead of lunchmeat.

Read the fine print: Low sodium and very low sodium are good bets, but check numbers on products marked reduced sodium or less sodium. By definition, they must contain only 25% less than the original version, so the totals may still be high.

In the Kitchen

Be stingy: When a food product comes with a seasoning or sauce packet, use only half (or less); most of it is salt. In 1 cup of chicken-flavored rice, you'll avoid more than 500 mg of sodium.

Stretch it: If you love rice and pasta mixes, toss in naturally low-sodium foods such as steamed fresh vegetables, tofu, or grilled chicken. You'll increase the total volume of food, spreading out the sodium over more servings.

Drain, rinse, repeat: Canned veggies and beans are literally swimming in salt water. The sodium content on the label includes the liquid, so draining and rinsing off these foods can reduce sodium counts by 35%, says Farrell.

The bonus of all this sodium slashing: You'll soon start tasting the real flavors of food. And it won't take long, say Purdue University researchers: After 12 weeks on a low-sodium diet, study subjects rated lower-salt foods just as appealing as regular foods.

http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100155296>1=9033
~~~~~
The following is a comment I wrote on a review of “Facing The Giants.”
http://churchofthemasses.blogspot.com/2006/10/facing-facing-giants.html

2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not listen to the sound doctrine, but, having itching ears, will heap up for themselves teachers after their own lusts ...

This is nothing new. "We" have always preferred to believe lies. Just look at your e-mail inbox for proof.

By Bug,

I just watched "Facing The Giants" and then read your review.

Like the movie, you have a right to your opinion. I'd just like to comment on one statement;
"... that entertainment should be idealistic and not mirror the world as it is, but as it should be." And you countered; "WRONG! WRONG... "

Here we get into opinions. I was raised in a movie theater. Ushered, then ran projectors throughout my youth and into my 20s. Mr. W.P. Florence, the owner of the local theater taught me that movies were fantasy and mainly escapist fare. He replaced the glass doors on his new theater with solid wood to better separate the world outside from the world inside.

So, I was raised to believe that "the masses" were looking to be lifted out of their life by movies.

I admit I may be in the minority but as a lifelong movie viewer, I like movies that improve on life.

In my perfect movie, John Wayne doesn't die. The lovers live happily ever after, etc.

And is it any wonder that my favorite movies were made in the '30s and '40s.

Otherwise, thanks for the review and don't be afraid to believe that God not only can, but will.
"Bug"
~~~~~
We received this update from Paul Troquille this week.

I am here and all is well except for the fact that they lost my luggage. Heathrow London airport was the worst experience of my traveling life and I don't ever want to go back there if I can help it. I completely understand why our fore-fathers wanted to get the heck away from British rule. Oh well,
Ethiopia favors Tanzania in many respects although Islam has a much stronger hold on the nation. Little noticeable things like the absence of any colorful decorations or pictures give hint to Muslim doctrine. Makes for some bland viewing but the people are very nice and speak Aramaic.

I am nervous about teaching all day with virtually no written material. They did locate my luggage and it will be here Wednesday but until then I have nothing really presentable to teach in clothes wise and no materials to teach from. Oh well, my few attributes one being a big mouth will have to come in handy now for sure.

A young lady is taking care of me. her name is Senadu. She is a good cook but baptizes everything in curry the way most Arabic nations do. She knows very little English and I am okay with that. Anna and I worked it out and so will we.

It is good that I have constant access to the internet as there is no TV. and no way to even watch a movie so write when you can and pray for me.

Love always, Paul
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include a Magnolia sunset and a mystery photo.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.21
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
Albemarle Employee’s pump $1.99
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s Taylor Recipe Book

Basic Deviled Eggs - - Shannon Voigt

Ingredients:
6 large eggs
2 Tbsp Mayonnaise or Salad Dressing
1 ½ Tbsp. sweet pickle relish
1 tsp. prepared mustard
? tsp. salt
Dash of pepper
Dash of sugar
Garnish - paprika

Method:
Boil eggs. Cut eggs in half and remove yolk and mix with above ingredients. Garnish with Paprika.

Taco Soup - - Vickie Taylor

Ingredients:
2 lbs ground beef (brown and drain)
1 chopped onion
1 pkg taco mix (dry)
1 pkg ranch dressing mix (dry)
1 can Rotel tomatoes with chilies
2 cans pinto beans
2 cans great northern beans
2 cans whole kernel corn
2 cans tomatoes

Method:
In an 8-quart pot, brown onion with meat. Add all other ingredients. Mix and simmer 1 ½ hours. Freezes well.
Note: I also add one more can of stewed tomatoes and if you want it more spicy use Pintos with jalapenos.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Go on in the Name of God
2/23/2007
The Perseverance of Wilberforce

In a poignant scene in the new film Amazing Grace, an exhausted William Wilberforce collapses into the arms of his wife. The British MP is heartbroken over his failure to stop the slave trade. After years of struggle—of enduring political tricks, treachery, and deceit—he is ready to give up; the campaign seems utterly hopeless.

But then a letter from an old friend reminds him that for the Christian who is fighting a great social evil, quitting is not an option.

The year was 1789—the year of the French Revolution. The mob and the guillotine ruled France, loosing a tide of bloodshed.

Across the Channel, the British feared a similar revolt. Any type of public protest was linked to the revolutionaries who had ignited France’s Reign of Terror.

This had a damaging effect on abolition. As my former colleague Eric Metaxas writes in his new book, Amazing Grace, the ugly events in France “had created a backlash in the British political class. There was no question that they were now” developing a “distaste for reform and for abolition.”

Sensing the shift in the public mood, the House of Commons rejected another motion to abolish the slave trade.

Weary with frustration, Wilberforce considered quitting his campaign. One night as he sat reading his Bible, a letter he had received years earlier, but which he had saved, fluttered from between its pages. It was from the great preacher John Wesley. Wilberforce re-read the familiar words.

“Unless God has raised you up for this very thing, you will be worn out by the opposition of men and devils,” Wesley wrote. “But if God be for you, who can be against you? Are all of them together stronger than God? Oh, be not weary of well-doing.”

“Go on in the name of God,” Wesley urged, “and in the power of His might.”

I have kept a copy of that same letter in my Bible for thirty years.

The words galvanized Wilberforce. Over the next two decades he fought tenaciously until the slave trade was finally outlawed. And then he fought for another twenty-five years, despite failing health, for the emancipation of all slaves in 1833.

The battle had taken forty-six years.

Forty-six years! Today, we are tempted to throw up our hands and go home if we lose a single election. In our campaigns against modern moral evils, we are too easily discouraged; we have forgotten how to persevere.

Of course we will have fierce opposition; sometimes the opponents will play dirty, as they did with Wilberforce. But that is no excuse to give up. Who do we think we are working for?

I love the way my friend Richard John Neuhaus puts it. His words are hanging on my wall: “We have enlisted for the duration in bearing witness to the truth.”

“The duration” could be twenty years or fifty. In our own era, the campaign to eliminate the killing of unborn children has already taken thirty-four years.

And that is just one battle: Christians are fighting as well modern slavery, embryo-destructive research, and the attack on marriage. We had better take a lesson from Wilberforce (and Wesley) and roll up our sleeves—permanently, if necessary.

Like Wilberforce, we must work to change the hearts of our fellow citizens. And like Wilberforce, we must never give up, but “go on in the name of God,” persevering until the battle is won.

Hero for Humanity: A Biography of William Wilberforce by Kevin Belmonte. An updated version is now available.

Read more articles on William Wilberforce and the abolition movement.

Gina Dalfonzo, “Abolitionists Officially Enter the 21st Century,” The Point, 21 February 2007.

Eric Metaxas, Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery (HarperSanFrancisco, 2007).

Kevin Belmonte, “The Philanthropist: A Two-Hundredth Anniversary Appreciation of William Wilberforce,” BreakPoint WorldView, November 2006.

Read H. Res. 158, the resolution Rep. Joseph Pitts (R-Penn.) introduced in commemoration of William Wilberforce and the two-hundredth anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070222, “One Bite at a Time: How to Take on Social Evils.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070221, “The Spirit of Collaboration: Wilberforce and Clapham.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070220, “Make You Look: Wilberforce and Awareness.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070219, “The Spirit of Wilberforce: Worldview in Action.”

Learn more about the Amazing Change Campaign, inspired by the upcoming film about William Wilberforce, Amazing Grace, and sign the petition to help end modern-day slavery.

Watch a clip of the upcoming film Amazing Grace at the Wilberforce Forum website. See these educational resources for Amazing Grace.

David Batstone, Not for Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade—and How We Can Fight It (HarperSanFrancisco, 2007).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:

doyen: the senior member of a body or group.
sonorous: yielding sound; impressive in sound.
turbid: muddy; not clear; also, confused; disordered.
apogee: the highest point.
hoi polloi: the common people; the masses.
malodorous: having a bad odor.
lapidary: of or pertaining to stone cutting; also, terse or refined in expression.
from Dictionary.Com

~~~~~
"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." - Reinhold Niebuhr

"Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is disappearing." - R.D. Laing

"There is only one situation I can think of in which men and women make an effort to read better than they usually do. [It is] when they are in love and reading a love letter." - Mortimer Adler

"Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can; all of them make me laugh." - W. H. Auden

"Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action." - James Russell Lowell

"Be of love (a little) more careful than of anything." - E E Cummings
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

# U.S. Attorney General Announces Program to Protect Religious Freedom in America
# The Latest Bill to Approach the U.S. House, and Why "Hate Crimes" Legislation is Such a Concern
# Experts Say Traditional View of Family Works—Family Experimentation Has Failed
# Preemie Baby's Survival Raises Big Questions About Abortion

# David's Law—"Hate Crimes" Legislation to be Introduced in U.S. House
# Dramatic Finding in New Poll Shows Majority of Americans Want to Win War in Iraq
# Christian Life Coach, Paula White, to Reach Promiscuous Girls on the Tyra Banks Show Tonight
# A Fortnight of Fair Trade Food—One Man's Quest to Inform others of the Difference They Can Make by Supporting Fair Trade Products

# Muslim Human Rights Activist Lauds American Involvement in Darfur
# Florida "Miracle Baby," Amillia, may Help Foster Understanding of the Pro Life Cause
# Large African-American Church Embraces Hispanic Community
# Driverless Cars a Reality by 2030?

# Evangelist Reinhard Bonnke's Upcoming Crusade to be Broadcast Live across the Globe, on GOD TV
# Oscar Nominee Jennifer Hudson Rocks Chicago Church
# Fathers of Aborted Babies Suffer Emotional Trauma Too, Say Experts
# French Intellectual Elite Have Done the "Unthinkable" by Supporting Pro-American Sarkozy as Next French President

# Presidential Candidate John McCain Speaks Out Against Abortion
# Survey Respondents Say 4 to 1 that New Zealand is a Christian Country
# French Pastor Who Led Team to Top of Everest, Buried Bible at Summit—the "Furthest Reaches of the World"
# Study of Top Movies in 2006 Shows Moviegoers Prefer Morally Uplifting Movies

# A Teen's Life Lived for God is Bringing a Harvest after His Death
# "Playing in Praise"—the Game of Cricket and Hope 2007 Brings Christians Together
# Faith-based HIV Prevention Working in Africa

# The Jesus People Revolution Returns to Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa
# "Souper Bowl" Follows Big Game with Over $6 Million Collected for the Hungry
# Time Magazine Highlights the Compassion of Pregnancy Centers

Breaking Christian News
310 2nd Ave SE
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GCF: Friendly Skies

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.

A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

"May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "(Expletive) you."

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you’ll have to stand in line for that, too."

The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Engineering Talk

I work as a Design Engineer. While driving I seldom slow down at the road breakers and bumps. One day out of exasperation my wife sitting next to me said," You know Honey, if you don't slow down you going to damage your shock absorber and your bearing and you will soon have to do a wheel alignment again."

I was surprised by her knowledge of the technical words and told her so.

She replied," Sweetheart, for years I've being telling you in plain English to slow down but you aren't listening. I thought maybe some engineering talk might help you see your foolishness."

Well it did.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Computer Help

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Patricia) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus before it was sent.
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Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we decided to call the customer support phone number we found in the manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.

He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even more.

"Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?"

"Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: The Accident

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Jane) -Tom
----------------------------------------

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie's
house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in
their living room.

"But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about
buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Actors

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Ian) -Tom
------------------------------------------------------------

Two actors who haven't seen each other in several weeks run in to each other on the street.

1st Actor: Haven't seen you in a while, how's everything going?

2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two weeks ago I got a call from a lawyer in Florida. It seems I had an aunt that I never knew about that died and left me $2,000,000.

#1: That's great!

#2: Yeah. And then last week I hit the lottery and won $7,000,000.

#1: That's wonderful!

#2: Yeah, but this week, nothing!
_ ____________________________ _
|___________________________|
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A fine is a tax for doing wrong.\ /
\ _/ A tax is a fine for doing well. \_ /
/ / \ \
|___________________________|
\\\\ \_/ / Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) \ \_/ ////
\ / The frantic dance performed \ /
\ _/ just after you've accidentally \_ /
/ / walked through a spider web. \ \
|___________________________|
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Always and Never are two words \ /
\ _/ to always remember never to use. \_ /
/ / \ \
|___________________________|
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Does a medical book \ /
\ _/ have an appendix? \_ /
/ / \ \
|___________________________|
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Talk is cheap \ /
\ _/ because supply exceeds demand. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|___________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Golf Survey

Donation Drive (9 days left)
Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

About once every six months or so, we humbly ask for a small donation to keep things running here at GCFL.net.

Wait! Before you run off to unsubscribe from the list thinking, "I thought they said this thing was free!!!" let me reassure you: GCFL IS, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN FREE! There is no obligation to pay for GCFL mailings.

It does cost money to run GCFL.net (just like everything else), but instead of peppering the mailings with advertisements every day, we prefer to ask for just a small donation. If we do a good job, some people will be willing to donate a dollar or two, and if we keep our costs down, it will be enough.

Since 1996, we've been mailing good, clean funnies to GCFL members, and they have always come through wonderfully, giving when they can.

We receive emails and letters nearly every day from members saying how much they enjoy GCFL and how it helps them start their day. It seems people from 12 to 101 (seriously!) enjoy our funnies, and we sure enjoy making GCFL what it is.

We ask for only one dollar because we feel it's not too much to ask, and just about everyone should be able to handle it. However, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it! We'll continue the best we can.

So, if you feel so inclined, please send your donation to:

GCFL
Box 100
Harvest, AL 35749
USA

Send a dollar bill (or two) (yes, it's OK to send cash in the mail for this purpose), or if you want to, write checks to "GCFL." You can also use PayPal (www.paypal.com) if you prefer. Please use email address gcfl@gcfl.net. Remember PayPal charges 2.9% + 30 cents for each transaction, so maybe you PayPal people can send $1.34 to cover that cost?
It's your call.

Thanks for helping us keep GCFL alive and kicking!

John Price
GCFL Director

(-:][:-)

My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes.

Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away. It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on.

When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at me in awe. I had a machete in one hand and a golf club in the other, and behind me was a clear-cut swath leading out of the woods.

"There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who hates to lose his ball!"

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Teenagers Are Always Hungry

The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing.

A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers.

"I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed."

Received from Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Missionary Mimicking

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but he eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew. As they sang, the man clapped his hands, so the missionary recruit clapped too. When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too. When the man sat down, he sat down.

When the man held the cup and bread for the Lord's Supper, he held the cup and bread. During the preaching, the recruit didn't understand a thing. He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front pew. Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements. People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped too.

Then the preacher said some words that he didn't understand and he saw the man next to him stand up. So he stood up too. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. A few people gasped. He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing. So he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving. When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in English, "I take it you don't speak Spanish."

The missionary recruit replied, "No, I don't. It's that obvious?"

"Well, yes," said the preacher. "I announced that the Acosta family had a newborn baby boy, and would the proud father please stand up."

Received from You Make Me Laugh.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Baby Shower

Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. To let my husband know that he had baby-sitting duty that day, I entered his name on the "copy to" line.

Within minutes of sending the messages, I received an email back from my husband. He wrote, "Imagine my disappointment when I realized that your invitation wasn't sent only to me." He was referring to the "Subject" line of my message, which read, "Lunch and a shower."

Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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All these were found on http://www.grogono.com/humor.php

What to do with all those "free" soaps when traveling

Note: This piece has been displayed here for years without proper credit to the renowned comic, Shelley Berman. It is a great pleasure to properly acknowledge his authorship. In addition to using it in his act, at least since 1980, Shelley Berman included it as humor in his book A Hotel Is a Funny Place (1972). I thank Miles Kington for drawing this to my attention.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,

S. Berman

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid, Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7.45 a.m., and don't get back before 5.30 or 6.00 p.m. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8.00 a.m., and 5.00 p.m. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess: - On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. - On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. - Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. - On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. - On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman
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Why God never received tenure at any university
He had only one major publication.
It was in Hebrew.
It had no references.
It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
Some say he had his son teach the class.
He expelled his first two students for learning.
Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
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Live Aboard Your Boat While At Home
Sleep on the shelf in your closet.
Replace the closet door with a curtain.
Four hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble: "Yourwatch!".
Put a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level.
When taking showers, shut off the water while soaping.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to high.
If your basement floods, during a sudden thaw, go down and start bailing.
Bring inside some type of gas motor (lawn mower, garden tiller, etc), start, and leave running while trying to listen to favorite CD, or having an in-depth conversation.
If the wind, outside, is howling, race around the house to make sure all windows and doors are secure. At night, everyone takes a turn on 'watch'.
Place all none edible garbage in small plastic bags, and store in other half of tub (edible garbage to be thrown out the window).
Wake up at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread. Cold canned ravioli or soup, is optional.
Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in the pantry, 'fridge, or freezer.
Once a month, pick a major appliance, take it completely apart, and put it back together.
Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot, and allow it to sit for 5 to 6 hours before drinking.
Put a fluorescent light under the coffee table, and lay there to read a book.
Every so often, throw the cat in the tub (hot tub, large sink, etc.) and shout, "Man overboard!".
Run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor, then yell at the wife for not having the place "stowed for sea."

After distributing this list the first time, I received some additions from Tommy Taggart:

With every major windshift, have your alarm go off so you can reset your address.
Periodically throw some sand about the house.
Cut two legs shorter on each chair.
During a squall, wake up - go to the front porch - throw a bucket of cold water in your face - go back to bed.
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Born Baptist

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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One morning, three Southerners and three Yankees were in a ticket counter line at a train station. The three Northerners each bought a ticket and watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Yankees.
"Watch and learn," answered one of the boys from the South.

All six boarded the train where the three Yankees sat down, but the three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the door.

Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets. He knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea. Indeed, so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment, the three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked a perplexed Yankee.

"Watch and learn," answered the three Southern boys in unison.

When they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were hiding. The Southerner knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."

There's just no way on God's green earth to explain how the Yankees ever won the war.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Question - When you apply for Welfare in Mexico what does the Government give you?

A map of the United States
....
It’s a joke. Lighten up.
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Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ). He put on a dress shirt ( MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans ( MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA ). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator ( MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car ( MADE IN GERMANY ) filled it with GAS from Saudi Arabia and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB . At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia ), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine ( MADE IN FRANCE.! France !! ) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in .. AMERICA ......
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Plane Pontoons*

Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped his small plane with pontoons so he could land on the lake directly in front of his cottage.

On his next trip, he made his approach down the airport runway as usual. Alarmed, his wife cried out, "Are you crazy? You can't land this plane here without wheels!"

The startled husband abruptly yanked the nose up, narrowly averting certain disaster. Continuing, he landed the plane on the lake without mishap. As he sat there, visibly shaken he said to his wife, "I don't know what got into me. That's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life!"

And with that, he opened the door and stepped out, falling into the water.

(-:][:-)

*Prayers as Heard By Children*

Prayers as Heard By Children

>From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that was God's real name.

Groton, Mass: My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes."

Missoula, Mont: My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"

Uniontown, Ohio: I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."

Covina, Calif: I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."

Cleveland, Ohio: When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag . . . and to the republic for Richard Stands."

Schenectady, N.Y.: I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."

Tampa, Fla: When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was "He suffered under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.

Lake Forest Park, Wash: When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came down, and the spuds came up."

Grand Junction, Colo: When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.

Oak Harbor, Wash: When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

(-:][:-)

*Changing Plates*

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.

As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

(-:][:-)

*Quantum Date*

Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.

The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"

The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."

The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? Never know... she might say yes."

The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?"

(-:][:-)

*Carry A Flashlight*

A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin.

"Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight."

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Keyboard Repair"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw332

"Cat Slippers"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=134

"Taking It With You"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw334

"Fruits Arise"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw333

"Stork Return"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw335

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/02/ - - Backup Blues
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Backup Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

They told me to back up my drive,
Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.
Had I heeded their warning,
I wouldn’t be mourning
My data, which didn’t survive.

http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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http://www.nws.noaa.gov/ National Weather Service
The U.S. government's site for local, national, and international weather, which includes some historical data. Of particular interest is a listing of all the active weather warnings in effect in the U.S.
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http://calendarhome.com/tyc/ The 10,000 Year Calendar
A perpetual calendar you can use to check days of the week for dates in the past or in the future. You can also print each calendar year selected.
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http://www.indo.com/distance/ How Far Is It?
This service uses data from the US Census and a supplementary list of cities around the world to find the latitude and longitude of two places, and then calculates the distance between them (as the crow flies). It also provides a map showing the two places, using the Xerox PARC Map Server.
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http://www.xe.com/ucc/ The Universal Currency Converter
An easy way to determine the current exchange rate between major international currencies.
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http://www.usps.com/ncsc/ziplookup/lookupmenu.htm USPS: ZIP Code Lookup
The ZIP Code system is extremely important in the processing and delivery of mail. An envelope that does not include a ZIP Code in the delivery address must be manually sorted, which increases the cost of sorting the mail and causes mail to be delayed en route to the delivery address. Use the online ZIP Code Lookup to find a ZIP Code.
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http://www.snopes.com/ Urban Legends
The definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.
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http://plasma.nationalgeographic.com/mapmachine/ National Geographic MapMachine
National Geographic's redesigned online atlas gives you the world - your way. Find nearly any place on Earth, and view it by population, climate, and much more. Plus, browse antique maps, find country facts, or plan your next outdoor adventure with our trail maps.
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| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
February 22, 2007
Adjust to What is Realistic

Today's Message is from Dick Waller (a Houston Albemarle employee).

After sixteen years of service, I have decided to retire from the Pasadena Fire Department. I will continue to be a member of the department and will continue to make emergency calls, but my level of participation will be greatly diminished. Along with age comes the realization of the things our bodies will do and the things our body tells us "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT".

My message to you is just because we get older doesn't mean we have to stop doing the things we love. We just have to adjust to what is realistic and not over do it.

Be safe, be careful, make sure you have enough gas in your vehicle to get you home and change the batteries in your smoke detector.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
February 21, 2007
ICE (In Case of an Emergency)
Participating in the ICE program only takes a few seconds. Your friends and family will be grateful.

In the event of an emergency where you may be unconscious or unable to talk, emergency crews can use your phone and find your ICE contact. They will be able to call your emergency contact and inform them of the event as well as gather valuable information about your health and/or medical conditions.

Step 1: Create a New Contact in your cellular phone.
Step 2: Name that contact ICE.
Step 3: Program the number for your emergency contact.
Done!
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
February 20, 2007
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.

Flammable Liquid Safety

Flammable liquids are used in many different ways. They present unique hazards to the people that use them. Flammable liquids can cause a fire or explosion, and like many other substances, they can also cause serious health effects from overexposure. This Tail Gate Safety Topic takes a look at flammable liquid hazards and discusses ways to use them safely.

Flammable liquids are liquids with a flash point of less than 100̊F. The flash point is the lowest temperature at which a liquid gives off enough vapor to form a flammable mixture with air. On the NFPA diamond label, a fire hazard rating of three or four denotes a flammable liquid. Other labels used to identify flammable liquids are red with appropriate wording and they usually contain a fire symbol.

The vapors of a flammable liquid often present the most serious hazard. The vapors can easily ignite or explode. Flammable liquid vapors are heavier than air and may settle in low spots, or move a significant distance from the liquid itself.

The explosive concentration of vapors in air has a lower and upper limit. The lower explosive limit, or LEL, is the lowest concentration that will ignite. The upper explosive limit, or UEL, is the highest concentration that will ignite. If the vapor concentration is between the LEL and UEL, there is serious risk of fire or explosion.

To minimize the risk of ignition of the flammable liquid or vapors, follow these precautions:
Always check the MSDS for the material you're using to understand the specific hazards involved.
Store flammable liquids in cool, well-ventilated areas away from corrosives, oxidizers, and ignition sources.
Label all containers and cabinets with appropriate "flammable materials" signs.
Never smoke in an area where flammable liquids are used or stored.
Minimize the amount of flammable liquids used.
Use only approved safety cans to store flammable liquids.
Ground and bond flammable liquid containers to prevent static charge build-up.
Never pour flammable liquids down a drain or sink.
Dispose of empty flammable containers in an approved manner.
Wear appropriate personal protective equipment such as splash aprons and goggles when handling flammable liquids.

Flammable liquids also present health hazards from overexposure. The MSDS for the material you're using will list the allowable exposures. Overexposures to flammable liquids can cause a variety of effects.

Inhalation of flammable liquids can cause irritation to the respiratory passages, nausea, headaches, muscle weakness, drowsiness, loss of coordination, disorientation, confusion, unconsciousness, and death.

Skin contact with flammable liquids can cause the skin's oils to be removed, resulting in irritated, cracked, dry skin, rashes, and dermatitis.

Eye contact with flammable liquids can cause burning, irritation, and eye damage.

Ingestion of flammable liquids can irritate the digestive tract, cause poisoning, and death.

Appropriate personal protective equipment (PPE) can help prevent exposure to flammable liquids. Use PPE faithfully to protect your good health.

Flammable liquids are used widely in many workplace and home situations. Careless mistakes and safety shortcuts lead to serious problems when it comes to flammable liquids. Their hazards are deadly. Flammable liquids deserve a healthy respect for their dangers. When you use them, be on guard against the hazards. You can prevent problems from occurring by using your good sense and following the MSDS precautions, and the instructions contained in this Tail Gate Safety Topic.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 12, Number 27 --- 08 Feb 2007
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com

+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Zune / Vinyl to CD / Audio Converters

Greetings, fellow riders of the World's Biggest Bus! Today's tour will take us into Audio and Music land. You'll learn about the new Zune music player, get the scoop on copying vinyl records to CD, pick up some pointers on how to convert audio files from one format to another, and find out how to add your own music and sound clips to a Myspace profile. Read on!

--------------------------------
Should You Buy a Zune or iPod?
--------------------------------

Have you heard about the Zune? It's Microsoft's new portable music player, dubbed by some as the iPod Killer. Both the Zune and the iPod cost about the same, at $250 for the 30-gig model. Both can hold about 7500 songs, and both have a battery life of about 14 hours.

But there ARE some significant differences in the feature sets that may influence your decision to buy one or the other. Here are some facts and figures to help you decide whether an iPod or a Zune is YOUR best choice for a portable music player...

http://askbobrankin.com/zune_or_ipod.html

--------------------------------
Converting Vinyl Records to CD
--------------------------------

For audio purists, nothing compares to good old-fashioned analog recordings on vinyl records. The warm tonal attributes, those faint pops and crackles, the life-sized artwork, the simple act of setting needle to groove, they're all part of an immersive experience that is fading into history.

That's because those old records are fragile, and every time they're played, it causes a slight degradation of sound quality. You can leave those old favorites unplayed for years at a time, relying on nostalgia to fill the void, or convert them to digital format.

Here's an illustrated step-by-step guide to help you convert those vinyl records to CD so you can enjoy them for years to come:

http://askbobrankin.com/converting_vinyl_records_to_cd.html

--------------------
Convert WMA to MP3
--------------------

If you have lots of music in Windows Media Audio (WMA) format, it may seem "trapped" there because you can't put WMA files on an iPod or some other portable music players. That's because some of them only play music in the popular MP3 format, or in the case of Apple's iPod, they've just decided not to play nice with anything Microsoft.

But there are several audio conversion software solutions that work very well on both Windows and Mac computers. Read on to get my top recommendations for both platforms, and learn some tricks on how to handle DRM-protected music as well...

http://askbobrankin.com/convert_wma_to_mp3.html
--------------------------------
Converting iTunes music to MP3
--------------------------------

On a related note, if you've purchased music in the iTunes music store and you're having trouble transferring those songs to a non-iPod music player, look here for help converting iTunes music into MP3 format:

http://askbobrankin.com/convert_itunes_to_mp3_format.html

---------------------------------------------------------
I Wanna Hold Your Ha... Hold Your Ha... Hold Your Ha...
---------------------------------------------------------

There really is nothing new under the sun... I thought we got past the skips when we left vinyl records in the dust. But now some iTunes users are reporting that songs played in iTunes are doing the s doing the s doing the s (thunk) doing the same thing. And smacking the computer doesn't seem to solve the problem.

If you recently upgraded to iTunes version 7, and have trouble with skipping tunes, here are some tips to solve the problem:

http://askbobrankin.com/itunes_music_skipping.html

-----------------------------------
Adding Music to a Myspace Profile
-----------------------------------

Most people know they can add a profile song to their Myspace page, but what if you want to add a song (or sound clip) that's not in the Myspace music library? No problem, at least for some users.

If you have an MP3 music file on your hard drive, or you know the address of a song or music file on the Web, you can slap a bit of HTML code in your Myspace profile and play whatever you like. But recently, Myspace has been mangling the codes and wreaking havoc with user-added music. Here's how to make it work in both Internet Explorer and Firefox:

http://askbobrankin.com/add_music_to_myspace.html

+---------------------------------------+

That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+

==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
19th Annual Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off
May 18 - May 19, 2007
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of three Soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 14 in Baqubah, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 12th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
01. Sgt. John D. Rode, 24, of Pineville, N.C.
02. Sgt. Carl L. Seigart, 32, San Luis Obispo, Calif.
03. Spc. Ronnie G. Madore Jr., 34, of San Diego.

The Department of Defense announced the death of an Airman who died Feb. 18 when the coalition Chinook helicopter he was riding in crashed in eastern Afghanistan.
04. Tech. Sgt. Scott E. Duffman, 32, of Albuquerque, N.M., was assigned to the 24th Special Tactics Squadron, Pope Air Force Base, N.C.

05. Sgt. 1st Class William C. Spillers, 39, of Terry, Miss., died Feb. 17 in Baghdad, Iraq, from a non-combat related injury. Spillers was assigned to the 230th Finance Detachment, Jackson, Miss.

06. Spc. Chad E. Marsh, 20, of Wichita, Kan., died Feb. 18 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when a grenade detonated near him during combat operations. Marsh was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

07. Pfc. Justin T. Paton, 24, of Alanson, Mich., died Feb. 17 in Taramia, Iraq, when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire. Paton was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 19 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when their unit came under attack by enemy forces using multiple weapons. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
08. Sgt. Pedro J. Colon, 25, of Cicero, Ill.
09. Spc. Montrel S. Mcarn, 21, of Raeford, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of seven soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 18 in southeastern Afghanistan when the Chinook helicopter they were in crashed. The incident is under investigation. Killed were:
10. Chief Warrant Officer Hershel D. McCants Jr., 33, of Ariz. McCants was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.
11. Chief Warrant Officer John A. Quinlan, 36, of New Jersey. Quinlan was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.
12. Sgt. Adam A. Wilkinson, 23, of Fort Carson, Colo. Wilkinson was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.
13. Spc. Travis R. Vaughn, 26, of Reinbeck, Iowa. Vaughn was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.
14. Spc. Brandon D. Gordon, 21, of Naples, Fla. Gordon was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky.
15. Pfc. Ryan C. Garbs, 20, of Edwardsville, Ill. Garbs was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Ga.
16. Pfc. Kristofer D. S. Thomas, 18, of Roseville, Calif. Thomas was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Ga.

The Department of Defense announced the death of five Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
17. Capt. Todd M. Siebert, 34, of Baden, Pa., died Feb. 16 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
18. Lance Cpl. Brian A. Escalante, 25, of Dodge City, Kan., died Feb. 17 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.
19. Lance Cpl. Blake H. Howey, 20, of Glendora, Calif., died Feb. 18 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.
20. Pfc. Brett A. Witteveen, 20, of Shelby, Mich., died Feb. 19 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 1st Battalion, 24th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Grand Rapids, Mich.
21. Sgt. Clinton W. Ahlquist, 23, of Creede, Colo., died Feb. 20 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

22. Pvt. Kelly D. Youngblood, 19, of Mesa, Ariz., died Feb. 18 in Ramadi, Iraq, of wounds suffered during combat operations. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

23. Cpl. Timothy D. Lewis, 20, of Lawrenceburg, Ky., died Feb. 15 as a result of non-hostile action in Jolo, Republic of the Philippines. His death is under investigation. Lewis was assigned to Combat Logistics Regiment 37, 3rd Marine Logistics Group, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Feb. 19 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when the vehicle they were in was struck by an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 89th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
Killed were:
24. Sgt. Shawn M. Dunkin, 25, of Columbia, S.C.
25. Pfc. Matthew C. Bowe, 19, of Coraopolis, Pa.
26. Pfc. Adare W. Cleveland, 19, of Anchorage, Alaska

27. Spc. Christopher K. Boone, 34, of Augusta, Ga., died Feb. 17 in Balad, Iraq, of a non-combat related injury. Boone was assigned to the 121st Infantry (Long Range Surveillance), Georgia Army National Guard, Fort Gillem, Ga.

28. Pfc. Jason D. Johns, 19, of Frankton, Ind., died Feb. 21 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of a non-combat related injury. His death is under investigation. Johns was assigned to the 3rd General Support Aviation Battalion, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

29. Sgt. Richard L. Ford, 40, of East Hartford, Conn., died Feb. 20 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered during combat operations. Ford was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 325th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

30. Staff Sgt. David R. Berry, 37, of Wichita, Kan., died Feb. 22 in Qasim, Iraq, when the vehicle he was in struck an improvised explosive device. Berry was assigned to 1st Battalion, 161st Field Artillery, Kansas Army National Guard, Dodge City, Kansas.

31. Spc. Louis G. Kim, 19, of West Covina, Calif., died Feb. 20 in Ramadi, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire. Kim was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

32. Sgt. Buddy J. Hughie, 25, of Poteau, Okla., died Feb. 19 in Kamdesh, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire and rocket propelled grenades. Hughie was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 180th Infantry, Oaklahoma Army National Guard, Ada, Okla.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 12:42-43 Deu 3:23-28 Exo 14:10-14 Gen 46:2-4 Lam 3:21-26 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com or http://www.bugsbleat3q06.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q05.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q05.blogspot.com. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2007 before it was sent.
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