Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Just a Warning

Volume 9, Issue 12 Friday, March 23, 2007

Hello All,

We’re still trying (perhaps vainly) to catch up with our “Bleat” postings. Every weekend it seems we have something planned that keeps me from working on my favorite “middle age” diversion.
~~~~~
When a fat guy falls, does he make a sound if there are a bunch of men watching? I can answer that question.

Last Saturday, we had a great MCC men’s fellowship. Buddy Barnett, Robert Davidson, Brandon Dupont, David McClellan, Gavin Morgan, and Royce Prince cooked up 100 pounds of live crawfish (provided by Cousin Henry Lee’s “Razorback Packing”) and about 40 pounds of catfish for our MCC men’s group. Of course we also had all the trimmings; potatoes, corn, mushrooms, sausage, french fries and hush puppies.
A large crowd ate, visited, told stories and generally enjoyed themselves.
When the last of the crawfish and catfish had been dished out, I got up and prepared to start disconnecting the cookers I’d borrowed for this feast.
Stepping up on the sidewalk next to the G.C. Kirksey Life Center, I twisted my left ankle and started to fall. In an attempt to stay on my feet, I hopped and skipped down the sidewalk. Witness said later that it reminded them of the dancing elephants on an old Disney animated movie (either Dumbo’s dream or Fantasia.)
It was generally agreed that all I succeeded in doing was building up speed and momentum before finally giving in to gravity and planting my face in the concrete at the north end of the sidewalk.
Some compared the final fall to the toppling of a Sequoia. In any case, I learned again of the immutable laws of physics, especially those involving momentum and mass.
When I went down, I threw out my hands and, seemingly in slow motion, watched my hands and arms fold up as the bulk of my body came down. It could have been bad, but fortunately I landed on my nose which absorbed most of the impact.
I know this because I felt it crack as my face bounced off the sidewalk. It would be hours later before the pain in my chest told me that my ribs had also taken some of the force.
As I tried to clear my head and determine how bad the injury was, I became concerned about the amount of blood pouring out of my nose onto the concrete. However, David and the guys were “Johnny On The Spot” and had an ice bag and 4x4s on my face within seconds. Once I figured out that the blood was coming out of the wound where my nose had been torn and not out of my nostrils, I felt a little better.
The guys got me up and David took me to the hospital. Meanwhile, Sim Baily called Annette at home so she could meet us. David called the ER while we were en route and they were waiting for me when I got there.
The Magnolia Hospital ER did a great job of quickly processing me and getting me into a room. Shortly after our arrival, Annette established the story that my flattened and torn “proboscis” was due to my “smarting off” at her and she had responded by sending me “to the moon!” to quote Jackie Gleason.
When the ER Doc came in, the ice pack had slowed the bleeding to an irritating drip and he was much concerned with the results of my head bouncing off the sidewalk and ordered a series of CT scans of my head, face and neck. While we were waiting on those, Annette began cleaning up the abrasions on my extremities and my face.
By the time the Dr. came back with my scans, we’d pretty much got my nose put back together and all the nurse had to do was use a little peroxide to finish cleaning up the cuts.
I did mention to the Dr. that my chest was hurting but he seemed so relieved that I didn’t have a C-Spine injury or skull fracture, they sent me home with instructions to use Advil for my aches and pains.
By the time we got back home Sunday morning, I was beginning to stiffen all over my body. Annette got me into bed with some difficulty and I was able to hobble to church later that morning.
Over the last week my face has gone from looking like a cheap Halloween mask to just having a slightly swollen nose. My ribs still hurt and Dr. Murphy had them X-Rayed on Wednesday. I was concerned that I seemed to be getting stiffer rather than better.
He told me to increase the Advil and it seems to have worked as I’ve been able to work every day, abet with some restrictions.
So ... what did I learn? I learned that I have a great family and that includes my church family. They took great care of me. I also learned that an old body can “Take a beating and keep on ticking.”
Oh yeah, the sound a Fat Guy makes when he hits the concrete? In my case it was mostly just the crack of my nose on the concrete. All the other noise was the guys rushing to my aid.
Thanks guys.
~~~~~
Annette and I went to a wedding at the Magnolia Downtown Garden this evening. It was our neighbors up the street, Cesar and Jenny. Brother Terry did a great job and the young couple was radiant in the evening surrounded by water and flowers.
~~~~~
This is one of my pet peeves.

A car company can move it's factories to Mexico & claim it's a free market.
A toy company can out source to a Chinese subcontractor & claim it's a free market.
A shoe company can produce its shoes in Southeast Asia & claim it's a free market.
A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes & claim it's a free market.
We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico. We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from 20 different countries

BUT, HEAVEN help the senior citizens who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian pharmacy. That's called un-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don't have a powerful lobby? Think again!

Even if you aren't in this boat now, you're standing on the pier.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
~~~~~
The 38th Annual GMA Music Awards, also known as the Dove Awards, April 25, 2007 at the Grand Ole Opry House, Nashville, TN.
Ryan Riggins band, "Pocket Full Of Rocks" [http://www.myspace.com/pocketfullofrocks] has been nominated for 2 Doves;
New Artist of the year
Worship Album of the year
~~~~~
An American General threatens to kick Michael Yon out of Iraq. To find out why, please click here to read a brief dispatch "RUBS" http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/rubs.htm
~~~~~
ABC's Nightline Showcases Scientific Study of Speaking In Tongues

"When they are actually engaged in this whole very intense spiritual practice...their frontal lobes tend to go down in activity. It is very consistent with the kind of experience they have, because they say that they're not in charge. [They say] it's the voice of God, it's the Spirit of God that is moving through them."

Vicki Mabrey, Roxanna Sherwood/TN (Mar 21st, 2007)

ABC's Nightline this Thursday will cover the phenomena/gift of speaking in tongues.

At the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Andrew Newberg has been conducting a scientific study of the phenomenon for a long time. According to an ABC report, Newberg found that brain scans show quite different results with Christians praying in tongues compared to Buddhist monks meditating and Franciscan nuns praying. The frontal lobes—the part of the brain right behind the forehead that's considered the brain's control center—went quiet in the brains of tongue-speakers.(Photo: ABC News)

"When they are actually engaged in this whole very intense spiritual practice...their frontal lobes tend to go down in activity. It is very consistent with the kind of experience they have, because they say that they're not in charge. [They say] it's the voice of God, it's the Spirit of God that is moving through them," said Newberg.

"Whatever is coming out of their mouth is not what they are purposefully or willfully trying to do. And that's in fairly stark contrast to the people who are—like the Buddhist and Franciscan nuns—in prayer, because they are very intensely focused and in those individuals the frontal lobes actually increase activity."

Says one participant in the study, Pastor Gerry Stoltzfoos, "I don't think faith has anything to be afraid of from science. Science validates faith, so bring it on, whatever the facts are, bring it on."

"When you have experienced this, you don't really care what anybody else thinks. It is personal in the first place; it is something between you and God," said Stoltzfoos. "So we don't really care if it is validated or not, but it is fascinating when it is, so that people who have thought we are crazy can have something to look at and—we are still crazy, we are just not as crazy as they thought."
~~~~~
A Lick And A Promise

"I'll just give this a lick and a promise," my mother said as she quickly mopped up a spill on the floor without moving any of the furniture.
"What is that supposed to mean," I asked as in my young mind I envisioned someone licking the floor with his or her tongue.
"It means that I'm in a hurry and I'm busy canning tomatoes so I am going to just give it a lick with the mop and promise to come back and do the job right later.
"A lick and a promise" was just one of the many old phrases that I remember my mother, grandmother, and others using that they probably heard from the generations before them. With the passing of time, many old phrases become obsolete or even disappear.
This is unfortunate because some of them are very appropriate and humorous. Here is a list that I came up with that I remember my parents and grandparents using that we don't hear much anymore. Perhaps you have some memorable old phrases of your own that you could add to the list:
A Bone to Pick (someone who wants to discuss a disagreement)
An Axe to Grind (Someone who has a hidden motive This phrase is said to have originated from Benjamin Franklin who told a story about a devious man who asked how a grinding wheel worked. He ended up walking away with his axe sharpened free of charge)
A bad apple spoils the whole barrel (one corrupt person can cause all the others to go bad if you don't remove the bad one)
At sea (lost or not understanding something)
Bad Egg (Someone who was not a good person)
Barking at a knot (meaning that your efforts were as useless as a dog barking at a knot.)
Bee in your bonnet (To have an idea that won't let loose)
Been through the mill (had a rough time of it)
Between hay and grass (Not a child or an adult)
Blinky (Between sweet and sour as in milk)
Calaboose (a jail)
Cattywampus (Something that sits crooked such as a piece of furniture sitting at an angle)
Dicker (To barter or trade)
Feather In Your Cap (to accomplish a goal. this came from years ago in wartime when warriors might receive a feather they would put in their cap for defeating an enemy)
Hold your horses (Be patient!)
I reckon (I suppose)
Jawing (Talking or arguing)
Kit and caboodle (The whole thing)
Madder than an old wet hen (really angry)
Needs taken down a notch or two (like notches in a belt usually a young person who thinks too highly of himself and needs a lesson)
No Spring Chicken (Not young anymore)
Persnickety (overly particular or snobbish)
Pert-near (short for pretty near)
Pretty is as pretty does (your actions are more important than your looks)
Scalawag (a rascal or unprincipled person)
Scarce as hen's teeth (something difficult to obtain)
Skedaddle (Get out of here quickly)
Sparking (courting)
Straight From the Horse's Mouth (privileged information from the one concerned)
Stringing around, gallivanting around, or piddling (Not doing anything of value)
Sunday go to meetin' dress (The best dress you had)
We wash up real fine (is another goodie....)
Tie the Knot (to get married)
Too many irons in the fire (to be involved in too many things)
Tuckered out (tired and all worn out)
Under the weather (not feeling well this term came from going below deck on ships due to sea sickness thus you go below or under the weather)
Wearing your "best bib and tucker" (Being all dressed up)
You ain't the only duck in the pond (It's not all about you)

Well, if you hold your horses, I reckon I'll get this whole kit and caboodle done and sent off to you. Please don't be too persnickety and get a bee in your bonnet because I've been pretty tuckered out and at sea lately because I'm no spring chicken. I haven't been just stringin' around and I know I'm not the only duck in the pond, but I do have too many irons in the fire. I might just be barking at a knot, but I have tried to give this article more than just a lick and a promise.

Thanks to Jeanette Ford
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Scenes from the MCC Men’s Crawfish Boil.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.45
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
Albemarle Employee’s pump $2.28
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Food Network
Parmesan Mashed Potatoes Copyright, 2005, Ellie Krieger, All rights reserved
Show: Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger
Episode: In the Comfort


2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes (about 5 cups), diced unpeeled
½ cup low-fat buttermilk
½ cup skim milk
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan
Salt
1 tablespoon unsalted butter


Place potatoes in a large saucepan and cover with water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cook until tender, about 10 minutes.
While potatoes are cooking place buttermilk and milk into a small saucepan and cook over a very low heat until just warm. Be careful not to boil or milk will curdle.

Drain the potatoes, add the warmed milk and mash together to desired consistency. Stir in cheese and salt. Top with the butter and let it melt.


Nutrition Information
Nutritional Analysis per Serving Calories: 118
Total fat: 3 grams Saturated fat: 1.6 grams
Protein: 4 grams Carbohydrates: 20 grams
Fiber: 2 grams



Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 8 (3/4 cup) servings

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_33337,00.html
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Mind the Gap
3/23/2007
Class and Marriage

In an oft-quoted, albeit apocryphal, exchange between F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway, Fitzgerald says that “the rich are very different from you and me,” to which Hemingway replies, “Yes, they have more money.”

Well, there is one way in which well-off Americans are increasingly different from other Americans: family structure.

Today, married couples with children are less than one-quarter of all households; that’s down from one-half in 1960. But this decline is not spread evenly among socio-economic classes. As a recent Washington Post article noted, the decline has been “far less among couples who make the most money and have the best education.”

What’s more, “these couples are also less likely to divorce.” As a result, their children have a tremendous “leg up” in the competition for higher incomes and the status it brings.

In contrast, “the poor aren’t entering into marriage very much at all,” according to Pamela Smock, a sociologist at the University of Michigan. She told the Post that arguments about the economic benefits of marriage “do not seem to change their attitudes.”

So, while the well-off are getting better-off thanks to marriage and family formation, those at the bottom are falling further behind for the opposite reason.

Given the well-documented economic and personal benefits, both to adults and children, of getting and staying married, why aren’t those most in need of those benefits getting married?

Placing the blame, as the Post does, on “the erosion . . . of the broad-based economic prosperity that followed World War II” is off target. Economic distress alone cannot explain why the poor are less likely to marry these days. After all, poor people throughout history have gotten married just like everyone else.

One reason has to be cultural. The 1960s assault on traditional authority and values has resulted in what political scientist James Q. Wilson calls the “subversion for the popular support of marriage.”

Unfortunately, as my colleague Anne Morse writes at our BreakPoint website, the Washington Post article does not explore the influence of “wealthy Hollywood moms who make out-of-wedlock child-bearing look chic and glamorous.” Poor, young women emulate celebrities. Nor does the article “mention the destructive impact of Great Society policies that essentially promised young women regular government checks” so long as they “have a baby out of wedlock and avoid marriage ever after.”

In the end, the Post does not give a satisfactory answer as to why the poor are marrying less often than the wealthy. But the article does set off alarm bells for the future of American society—and for the future of the poor.

As Anne Morse writes on our website, married couples are highly motivated to work hard and pool their savings for the future. Why? Because they believe they’ll have a future together. This is a big part of why married people have more money than those who do not marry.

If the poor truly believe that they cannot afford marriage—or don’t need it—we, the Christian Church, have to find way to help them understand that, for many reasons, including the well-being of their children, they cannot afford not to marry. For their future and for ours.

“Marriage in America: BreakPoint Goes to the Heart of the Marriage Debate” (CD).

For Further Reading and Information

Anne Morse, “Worth Wedding For,” BreakPoint Online, 9 March 2007.

Anne Morse, “Barbarians ‘R’ Us?” The Point, 14 March 2007.

Blaine Harden, “Numbers Drop for the Married with Children,” Washington Post, 4 March 2007, A03.

Harold Meyerson, “‘Family Values’ Chutzpah,” Washington Post, 7 March 2007, A17.

Daniel Pulliam, “What Would Dobson Say?” Get Religion, 8 March 2007.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060130, “Marriage and Faith: They Really Do Go Together.”

“Intimate Allies” (CD): We must be living witnesses to the beauty and the glory of marriage as God intendeded it. And good marriages are built on a Christian worldview. Dr. Dan Allender, professor of counseling and president of Mars Hill Graduate School in Bothell, Washington, discusses topics from his book, Intimate Allies, coauthored with Dr. Tremper Longman.

Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (Doubleday, 2000).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:

specious: apparently right but not so in reality.
limpid: clear; also, serene.
adage: an old saying.
empyrean: the highest heaven; the heavens; the sky.
clerisy: the intelligentsia.
perforce: by necessity.
animadversion: harsh criticism or disapproval.
from Dictionary.Com

~~~~~
"May the enemies of Ireland never eat bread nor drink whisky, but be tormented with itching without benefit of scratching." - Traditional St. Patrick's Day toast.

"There are two things which cannot be attacked in front: ignorance and narrow-mindedness. They can only be shaken by the simple development of the contrary qualities. They will not bear discussion." - John Emerich Edward Dalberg

"Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices." - Paul Tournier

"We do not believe any group of men adequate enough or wise enough to operate without scrutiny or without criticism. We know that the only way to avoid error is to detect it, that the only way to detect it is to be free to inquire. We know that in secrecy error undetected will flourish and subvert." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

"A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience." - John Updike

"In our era, the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action." - Dag Hammarskjold

"The purpose of ritual for men is to learn the rules of power and competition. Watching sports together, for example, they see the formal enactment of ritual, become loyal to a team, learn to conceal their vulnerability. The purpose of ritual for women (going to lunch together, sharing a favorite salon, etc.) is to learn how to make human connections." - Diane Ackerman
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

# UK Councillor Calls for London Area Churches to Take Authority Over High Youth Crime
# A Testimony of Healing from Asthma
# Christian Artist Honors Veterans and American Life on Canvas
# L'Chaium: Artisans of Life Debuts Christian Art Show April 6th and 7th

# Boxing Promoter, Don King, Gives Pope a Letter Asking for Prayers for People Including President Bush
# Abstinence Education Programs Proven Effective among Students
# Iranian Christians in California to Broadcast their Isaiah 45:1 New Year's Celebration to Iran
# New Exhibit in Paris City Hall Showcases Plight of Jewish Children Deported From France in WWII

# Heidi Baker Emergency Update: She says bombs are hitting their church and their children's center with children in it—PRAY!

# ABC's Nightline Showcases Scientific Study of Speaking In Tongues
# Vietnamese Nun Makes it Her Life's Calling to Find Forgotten Leper Colonies and Minister to Their Needs
# Women Reach Out with 50,000 Tracts
# Now is the Time for God's Women to Rise Up! (Op/Ed)

# UK's SOR Vote Proceeds to House of Lords on Wednesday—Prayer Vigil will be Held Simultaneously at Old Palace Yard
# UK Christians Waking Up: Poll Shows One in Three Suffer Discrimination Because of Their Views
# Tens of Thousands Participate in Archaeological Digs Near Ancient Capital of Edom Every Year
# Researcher Collects Music Written in WWII Prisons, Concentration Camps

# wo More U.S. States Move toward Official Apologies for Slavery
# Atlanta "Evening For Israel" A Rousing Success
# Christian Businesspeople Believe the Marketplace May be Key for Revival
# New Poll Shows Iraqis Believe That Life is Getting Better

# Canadian Philosopher Awarded Templeton Prize for Progress Toward Research or Discoveries About Spiritual Realities
# Columbian Bishop Emphasizes Jesus is Savior, Son of Living God—Not Guru, Socialist or Hippie
# God Meets Alzheimer's Caregivers in Their Need

# History Made in Northern Ireland as Catholics and Protestants Join Together to Celebrate St. Patrick
# History of St. Patrick's Day and the Significance of the Shamrock
# WWII Soldier's Bible Kept in Safekeeping by English Family for Over 60 Years

Breaking Christian News
310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426

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GCF: Just a Warning

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Andrew) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus before it was sent.
----------------------------------------------------

As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. The motorist, informed that he had failed to come to a full stop at a stop sign, was handed a ticket.

"Don't I get a warning?" he protested.

The officer replied, "Sure. Here's your warning: If you don't come to a complete stop next time, I'll give you another ticket."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Obituaries

Found posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor.funny). -Tom
----------------------------------------------------

His four children were gathered around Mr. Staley's deathbed.

As the eighty-year-old man seemed to doze off in a blissful sleep, the children started to discuss the final funeral plans. One wanted to spend a thousand dollars for a coffin, a second thought a plain wooden box would do, and the third was even ready to dump the remains into a paper sack. All agreed there was no reason to spend much money, as their father would never know the difference.

Mr. Staley stirred. Having heard every word, he thought it was time to set the record straight. "Children," he said, "I've never told you this and never wanted to, but I can't go to my final resting place with this burden. My darling children, your mother and I were never married."

His oldest son was aghast. "You mean we're....."

Mr. Staley said, "Yup. And cheap ones too!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: A Modern Marriage

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Powers) -Tom
----------------------------------------------------

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I broke my wife's hard drive!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Afternoon Rounds

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Edwin) -Tom
----------------------------------------------------

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I often take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / INFLATION: Cutting money in \ /
\ _/ half without damaging the paper. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I believe five out of four \ /
\ _/people have trouble with fractions.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I don't suffer from stress. \ /
\ _/ I'm a carrier. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If at first you don't succeed, \ /
\ _/ try again. Then quit. \_ /
/ / No use being a darn fool about it. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|___________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Photo Magic

My nephew works at a copy shop that provides a variety of computer services. Once, a customer brought in a snapshot he had taken of the front of his house. "Would you scan this picture onto a computer screen?" he asked my nephew.

"Then rotate it 180 degrees. I need a photo of the back of my house."

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Great Rescue

Passengers aboard a luxurious cruise ship were having a great time when a beautiful young woman fell overboard. Immediately there was an 80-year-old man in the water who rescued her.

The crew pulled them both out of the treacherous waters. The captain was grateful as well as astonished that the white-haired old man performed such an act of bravery. That night a banquet was given in honor of the ship's elderly hero. He was called forward to receive an award and was asked to say a few words.

He said, "First of all, I'd like to know who pushed me."

Received from Geneva Kennedy.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Redneck Movie Quotes

"We'll always have Wal-Mart."

"You had me at 'Sooooey!'"

"Houston, we have a 'possum."

"Are you CRYING? There's no crying in NASCAR!"

"Of all the trailer parks in Pine Cone County, she had to pull her '68 Rambler into mine."

"Use the horse, Luke!"

"I ate his ribs... with some pinto beans and a shot o' Jack Daniel's."

"Hokey opera and ancient museums are no match for a good tractor pull, kid."

"I know what you're thinking... did he fire six shots or only five? Well, heck if I know! You KNOW I can't count no higher'n three since the chainsaw accident!"

"You want a tooth?! You can't HANDLE a tooth!!"

Received from Dan Ryan.
(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Jellyfish Bad Day

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2-FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a pretty good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well, until all of a sudden, my rear end started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds, it started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into myself.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear because he and five other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes, before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface and climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it onto the affected area as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but it took two days before I could sit down again.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved down your pants. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now, whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: Is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

Received from Mark Middlebusher.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the South waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah, we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. The South is the greatest!! If you are from the South you are part of the best people in the USA!!

Thanks to David Lamb
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You're Audio Rights

You have the right to make sound. Any sound you make can and will be held against you in the eyes of your audio peers.

You have the right to EQ. If you cannot EQ, someone will be provided to EQ for you.

You have the right to set-up proper gain structure. Failure to set proper gain can result in the loss of all audio rights.

You can not and will not be allowed to purchase of use modifications to the laws of physics.

You can not sell modifications to the laws of physics - doing so shall cause you to wear a vest and nametag to work.

You have the right to buy $ 2,000.00 speaker cable. If you do, however you will be mocked.

Failure to understand these rights may result in forfeiture of access to all knobs marked "gain", "trim", "LF", "PRE", "Level", etc. plus forfeiture of any and all tweakers in your possession.

Thanks to Claiborne Sharp
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Lariat Training*

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.

"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."

"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"

(-:][:-)

*Bob's MG*

I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS MG'.

I was able to pull up beside the car at the next light, so I said to the driver, "Hey, that's not an MG."

The driver looked over at me and said, "I'm not Bob."

(-:][:-)

*Not Going To Church*

On a Sunday morning a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to get up and go to church.

"I'm not going to church this morning," the son says.

"You gotta get up and go to church", says mother.

"No, I'm not." says the son.

"Yes you are", says the mother.

"No, I'm not, they don't like me and I don't like them." says the son.

"Give me two good reasons why I have to go," says the son.

"Number one, you're 55 years old and number two, you're the pastor!"

(-:][:-)

*Basic Training*

After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to expectations. The sergeant threatened to send them all back three weeks to start over.

Apparently, at least one new soldier was already reconsidering his career choice. As the sergeant's threat hung in the air, an annoymous voice called out,

"How about sending us back FOUR weeks?"

(-:][:-)

*Casual Day*

I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a little more enjoyable, below is a memo I found in my desk today thought I would pass it on.

Casual Day Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.

Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.

Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.

Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m., Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.

Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the "home casual" versus "business casual" checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.

Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Cow Car"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw361

"Vet Visit"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw359

"Sign Change"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw357

"Shoe Fit"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw356

"Sweep Wide"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw354

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - -
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
March 22, 2007

Today's Message is from Ken Pool (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).

How serious are we all about safety? I know we all speak the words and talk the talk, but as they say, are you willing to walk the walk?

Do you really wear hearing protection, eye protection, and safety foot wear when doing yard work?
Do you get the ladder to change the light bulb?
Do you talk on the cell phone when driving down the road?
Do you speed up when the light is about to turn yellow or do you prepare to stop?
Do you STOP, LOOK, and Listen at the railroad crossing, or do you make a run for it to beat the train?

I challenge everyone to use the SCAN program at home / work and do everything with Safety in mind and admit it when we forget and not do something Safely. Correct your friends and relatives when they are not thinking and not wearing protection or about to do an unsafe act. It's harder than you think and more rewarding when you do.

Have a Safe and Great Summer.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
March 21, 2007
Poison Prevention and Treatment Tips
National Poison Prevention Week
March 18 - 24, 2007

Each year, approximately 2.4 million people - more than half under age 6 - swallow or have contact with a poisonous substance. As poison prevention, and appropriate, immediate treatment to poison contact or ingestion, are critical to keeping your child safe, the American Academy of Pediatrics(AAP) has some important tips.
To poison proof your home:
Most poisonings occur when parents or care givers are home but not paying attention. The most dangerous potential poisons are medicines, cleaning products, antifreeze, windshield wiper fluid, pesticides, furniture polish, gasoline, kerosene and lamp oil.
Store medicine, cleaners, paints/varnishes and pesticides in their original packaging in locked cabinets or containers, out of sight and reach of children.
Install a safety latch - that locks when you close the door - on child-accessible cabinets containing harmful products. Purchase and keep all medicines in containers with safety caps.
Discard unused medication.
Never refer to medicine as "candy" or another appealing name.
Check the label each time you give a child medicine to ensure proper dosage.
Never place poisonous products in food or drink containers.
Keep coal, wood or kerosene stoves in safe working order.
Maintain working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.
Treatment If your child is unconscious, not breathing, or having convulsions or seizures due to poison contact or ingestion, call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
If your child has come in contact with poison, and has mild or no symptoms, call your poison control center at1-800-222-1222.Different types and methods of poisoning require different, immediate treatment:
Swallowed poison - Remove the item from the child, and have the child spit out any remaining substance. Do not make your child vomit. Do not use syrup of ipecac.
Skin poison -- Remove the child's clothes and rinse the skin with room temperature water for at least 15 minutes.
Eye poison -- Flush the child's eye by holding the eyelid open and pouring a steady stream of room temperature water into the inner corner.
Poisonous fumes - Take the child outside or into fresh air immediately. If the child has stopped breathing, start cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and do not stop until the child breathes on his or her own, or until someone can take over.
American Academy of Pediatrics, 2/07
Poison Control Number 1-800-222-1222 Put the poison control number, 1-800-222-1222, on or near every home telephone and save it on your cell phone. The line is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
March 20, 2007
Today's Message is from Karen O'Connor (a Houston Albemarle employee).
.......................................................................

8 GREAT REASONS NOT TO SMOKE...

1. Smoke irritates the nose and makes allergies worse.

2. Smoking turns teeth yellow.

3. Smoke dries out the throat, making smokers cough more.

4. Smoking makes the heart beat faster and work harder, leading to heart attacks and strokes.

5. Smoking sucks oxygen out of the bloodstream, taking away strength and energy.

6. Smoking weaken bones.

7. Smoking causes lung diseases like emphysema and lung cancer.

8. Smoking allows the stomach to release more acid, creating heartburn.


There are many ways to say NO TO SMOKING..Share this with your kids and grandkids...

* Smoking is gross.

* No Thanks, I'm busy.

* It feels good to be tobacco free.

* I don't like cigarettes.

* I want to stay healthy.

* Smoking is bad news.

* I'm happy the way I am.

* I don't want to get addicted.

* Smoking makes me sick.

* I don't like stinky breath.

* Good friends wouldn't offer cigarettes.

* It could get me kicked out of school.

* I've got better things to do.

* I don't want smelly clothes.

* I know people who've died from smoking.

* Cigarette smoke makes me gag.

* I don't want to get cancer.

* Cigarettes cost too much.

* I don't want to cough.

* People don't like being around smokers.

* Don't want my skin to turn yellow.

* Smoking causes wrinkles.

* Cigarettes are a waste of money.

* I don't want my hair smelling like an ashtray.

* Smoking kills.

* Smoking is not cool.

Don't let your money go up in Smoke..

A person who buys a $4.36 pack of cigarettes each day will spend almost $1,600 a year on smoking!

For $1,600, you could buy:
120 CD's!
30 pairs of jeans!
Tickets to 40 concerts!
100 large pizzas!
1 great Hawaiian vacation!
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
March 19, 2007
Office workers prone to blood clots

Staying chained to your desk might place you at greater risk of potentially fatal blood clots in the legs, researchers in New Zealand say.

Deep-vein thrombosis, or DVT, is thought to be caused by sitting rigidly for too long.

'We had people not uncommonly working up to 12 to 14 hours a day and being seated for that time.'— Study author Prof. Richard Beasley

Also called travellers' thrombosis, the condition is caused when a blood clot forms in leg veins and travels to the lungs, heart or brain days or weeks later, where it can lead to a heart attack or stroke.

Prof. Richard Beasley of the Medical Research Institute in Wellington looked at 62 people under 65 who were admitted to hospital with blood clots.

About 34 per cent were admitted after sitting at work for long periods, compared with 1.4 per cent among people who recently took a long-distance flight.

"There are considerably more people who are seated for long periods at work as part of their normal day than there are traveling," Beasley told National Radio Monday.

The researchers were surprised to find how long some workers, such as those in the information technology industry and call centres, were seated.

Walk for prevention

"We had people not uncommonly working up to 12 to 14 hours a day and being seated for that time."

Clots formed in 10 per cent of air passengers at high risk for the condition and in one per cent of passengers generally.

"The study suggested that people develop clots in their legs from sitting three to four hours at a time," Toronto cardiologist Dr. Beth Abramson, a spokesperson for the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada, told CBC Newsworld.

"It wasn't common, but it was more common than we thought."

Certain segments of the population are at higher risk for clots because their clotting systems are more active, Abramson said. These include women on estrogen from the birth control pill, pregnant women and people being treated for cancer.

To avoid DVT, Abramson recommended office workers get up and walk around and stay hydrated.

People should seek medical attention if they sit for a prolonged period and feel a severe cramp in the calf or pain higher up in their leg that doesn't go away, Abramson advised.

The clots are treated with blood thinning drugs, and the treatment can take months.

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2007/03/12/clots-sitting.html?ref=rss#skip300x250
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 12, Number 31 --- 20 Mar 2007
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Anonymous Surfing / Download Movies / BIOS

In today's TOURBUS, you'll see what your online activities reveal to others, and how to surf anonymously. I've also got quick guides to downloading movies and tapping into your BIOS. We'll also learn how to protect against Phishing, and where to get free office software. Read on for answers!

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I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me
-------------------------------------------

Your Internet Service Provider, along with the websites you visit, gather more information about you than the FBI or the CIA. Just about everything you do on the Internet is being watched by someone. All the big websites, major search engines and ISPs know what sites you like to browse, what pages catch your eyes, what subjects you like to search. Even your e-mails may be subject to prying eyes.

In "Anonymous Web Surfing", you'll find out what information you reveal when you surf the web or open email, how much of a privacy risk there really is, and how you can go online with a higher level of protection. Read on...

http://askbobrankin.com/anonymous_web_surfing.html

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Downloading Movies at Home
----------------------------

A reader caught in a technology vacuum opined thusly: > "I've been using Netflix to rent movies by mail, which is okay, > but with high-speed connections so common now, why can't I just > download movies I want to watch from the Internet?"

Who says you can't? Maybe Blockbuster and Netflix don't offer online movie downloads (yet), but there are several places online where you can keep up with the Hollywood hustle without ever leaving home. But due to the large file sizes (500-800MB for movie downloads) and high bandwidth requirements for streaming video, you'll need plenty of hard drive space and a solid DSL, cable or fiber connection.

Oh, and there are also copyright and legal issues. Here's a rundown of some sites where you can legally download movies without breaking the bank, and some alternatives that might earn you an eye patch...

http://askbobrankin.com/download_movies.html
---------------
What is BIOS?
---------------

Perhaps you've heard that you can change your computer's BIOS settings to affect performance and startup options, but you're hesitant to poke around in those geeky BIOS setup screens. Let's demystify it a bit...

BIOS is an acronym for Basic Input/Output System. On a PC, the BIOS controls the functioning of disk drives, serial communications, the display screen, keyboard, mouse, etc. The term BIOS can refer to a chip on your motherboard, the program hard-coded on that chip, or the BIOS setup screens you can access when your computer boots up. Let's take a look at the trouble you can cause by fiddling with the options on those BIOS screens...

http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_bios.html

-------------------------------
Don't Fall For Phishing Scams
-------------------------------

A reader recently asked me to explain in simple terms what "phishing" is all about. In simplest terms, phishing (sometimes called social engineering) is the act of stealing information using lies as bait. Instead of coming to your home to steal your information, online scammers try to trick you into passing it over voluntarily, by pretending to be someone you trust.

The Internet has become a playground for unscrupulous people looking to steal your information. Take a look at some examples of phishing scams and learn how to protect yourself from this insidious threat:

http://askbobrankin.com/phishing_scams.html
----------------------
Free Office Software
----------------------

A reader concerned about the high cost of Microsoft Office wrote: > "I just got a new computer but it doesn't have Microsoft Word. > And the Microsoft Office package is WAY expensive... are there > any good alternatives for cheap or free office software?"

Yes, there are alternatives to the Microsoft Office software. In fact, there are a variety of low-cost and even free office suites, offering a comparable level of functionality. Try some of these alternatives to Word, Excel and PowerPoint...

http://askbobrankin.com/free_office_software.html
+---------------------------------------+

That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest

Albemarle Employees and Contractors - Steak & Bingo Dinner

Saturday, April 14, the Albemarle Activities Committee will host a steak and bingo dinner at the Magnolia Junior High School Cafeteria from 6:00–9:00 p.m. The dinner is open to all Albemarle employees, retirees, and full-time contract personnel.
~~~
19th Annual Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off
May 18 - May 19, 2007
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Farmington / Nurse faces lesser charge in fatal crash; Teen worker killed as she weeded by road

Minneapolis, MN -- Exhausted at the end of her third overnight shift in as many days, Laura Ann Brockhaus left the Veterans Administration Medical Center in Minneapolis and drove home. Brockhaus, a registered nurse, would later tell police she had worked 12 1/2-hour shifts, from 7:30 p.m. to 8 a.m., three days in a row. In her daylight hours, she had slept five or six hours one day and little more than three the next.

And she would tell police she tried her best but that there was nothing she could do to revive the teen who was struck by her car and then thrown to her death July 27. Less than a mile from her Farmington home, Brockhaus, 40, allegedly fell asleep at the wheel of her car near a busy Farmington intersection. The car jumped the curb of Pilot Knob Road and crashed into 18-year-old Jacquelynn Devney as the summer worker weeded a sidewalk trail. A Dakota County coroner later determined that Devney, who was weeks away from starting college, died instantly.


Tractor flips, killing Bedford County supervisor

BLUE RIDGE Va. -- A Bedford County supervisor was killed Thursday when his tractor flipped on a steep hill, pinning him beneath the machine, officials said. Montvale Supervisor Bobby Pollard, who was 71, was feeding his cattle when the tractor flipped, family members told County Administrator Kathleen Guzi. A home health care nurse visiting a neighbor found Pollard dead under his tractor, Guzi said.


Accident kills worker at I-15 project site

OGDEN, UT -- A road construction worker from Twin Falls, Idaho, was killed Sunday when the doors of a belly dumper accidentally closed on him while he was inside. Weber County Sheriff's Sgt. J.P. Hansen said the man's body was discovered by his son, who has been working with his father as a subcontractor on the I-15 road-widening project.

The man, 58, was apparently removing dirt from inside the belly dumper, preparing it for the next work shift, when the accident occurred. Safety chains that are normally attached to prevent the doors from closing apparently were not hooked up, Hansen said. The man's name was not released Sunday pending the notification of family.
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their unit during combat operations. They were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
01. Staff Sgt. Blake M. Harris, 27, of Hampton, Ga.
02. Staff Sgt. Terry W. Prater, 25, of Speedwell, Tenn.
03. Sgt. Emerson N. Brand, 29, of Rigby, Idaho.
04. Pfc. James L. Arnold, 21, of Mattawan, Mich.

05. Spc. Joshua M. Boyd, 30, of Seattle, died Mar. 14 at Brooke Army Medical Center, Fort Sam Houston, Texas, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device exploded near his unit

06. Mar. 5 in Samarra, Iraq. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

07. Spc. Forrest J. Waterbury, 25, of Richmond, Texas, died Mar. 14 near Ramadi, Iraq, when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

08. Lance Cpl. Harry H. Timberman, 20, of Minong, Wis., died March 17 from wounds received while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Timberman was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.

09. Pfc. Anthony A. Kaiser, 27, of Narrowsburg, N.Y., died Mar. 17 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire. Kaiser was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade, Fort Lewis, Wash.

10. Sgt. 1st Class Benjamin L. Sebban, 29, of Chattanooga, Tenn., died Mar. 17 in Baqubah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit. Sebban was assigned to the 5th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

11. Sgt. 1st Class Christopher R. Brevard, 31, of Phoenix, died Mar. 16 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit. Brevard was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Infantry Regiment, 4th Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
12. Sgt. 1st Class John S. Stephens, 41, of San Antonio, Texas, died March 15 in Tikrit, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his patrol came under attack during combat operations. Stephens was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kansas.
13. Sgt. Nimo W. Tauala, 29, of Honolulu, Hawaii, died March 17 in Muqdadiyah, Iraq, of a non-combat related injury. His death is under investigation. Tauala was assigned to the 209th Aviation Support Battalion, Combat Aviation Brigade, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

14. Sgt. Ryan P. Green, 24, of Woodlands, Texas, died Mar. 18 in Landstuhl, Germany, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit while on combat patrol Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq. Green was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

15. Spc. Marieo Guerrero, 30, of Fort Worth, Texas, died Mar. 17 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Guerrero was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 18th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Mar. 17 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 12th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Bliss, Texas. Killed were:
16. Sgt. John E. Allen, 25, of Palmdale, Calif.
17. Sgt. Ed Santini, 25, of Toa Baja, Puerto Rico.
18. Pfc. William N. Davis, 26, of Adrian, Mich.
19. Pfc. John F. Landry Jr., 20, of Lowell, Mass.

20. Lt. Col. Peter E. Winston, 56, of Plant City, Fla., died Nov. 13, 2006, in Kaiserslautern, Germany, from a non-combat related incident while in Iraq. He was assigned to the 143rd Sustainment Command, Orlando, Fla.

21. Staff Sgt. Gina R. Sparks, 35, of Drury, Mo., died Oct. 4, 2004, at Fort Polk, La., from a non-combat related incident. She was assigned to the 115th Field Hospital, Warrior Brigade, Fort Polk.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Mar. 20 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kansas. Killed were:
22. Sgt. Wayne R. Cornell, 26, of Holstein, Neb.
23. Pfc. Stephen K. Richardson, 22, of Bridgeport, Conn.

24. Cpl. Dustin J. Lee, 20, of Quitman, Miss., died March 21 from wounds received while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Lee was assigned to Headquarters Battalion, Marine Corps Logistics Base Albany, Ga.

25. Spc. Curtis E. Glawson Jr., 24, of Daleville, Ala., died Mar. 20 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Glawson was assigned to the 610th Brigade Support Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kansas.

26. Pfc. Joey T. Sams II, 22, of Spartanburg, S.C., died Mar. 21 at Camp Buehring, Kuwait, of injuries suffered when he was pinned between two vehicles. His death is under investigation.

27. Staff Sgt. Darrell R. Griffin Jr., 36, of Alhambra, Calif., died Mar. 21 in Balad, Iraq, from wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with small arms fire during combat operations. Griffin was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

28. Sgt. Nicholas J. Lightner, 29, of Newport, Ore., died Mar. 21 at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Washington, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit while on combat patrol March 15 in Baghdad, Iraq. Lightner was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mat 7:16-20 John 16:33 Mark 12:38-40 Job 8:5-7 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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